A bunch of savages in this town.

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

I know you're on to me, Starbucks girl. I see you giving me the stinkeye while you stock the freshly made lemon squares and cranberry scones. The display case cannot disguise your loathing. Yes, I have been here since 8, do you have a problem with that? It's a free country, I can enjoy your free wireless Internet as long as I enjoy my beverage and keep to myself. What, my headphones are too loud? Sorry, honey, but High School Musical was meant to be enjoyed! If that means a few others are allowed a glimpse of the majesty, then so be it.

I'm enjoying my coffee. Calmer than you are.

See that Disney? I'm still pushing the product! Just doing my bit as part of the ABC/ESPN family, even if we aren't on the best terms right now. You keep putting out that fine brand of wholesome family entertainment and sports programming, and I'll be right here to constantly remind everyone where its at. Constantly. That reminds me.

Kids! Be sure to catch "That's So Raven!" tonight at 6/5c on the Disney Channel!

*Update*
Just went to go get a refill on my Tall Blackberry Green Tea Latte, and that slacker behind the register told me to keep it down! Apparently, dictating my blog entries aloud to myself is worse than my taste in music. You'd think this was a freaking library or something. Honestly, as soon as my 1 week ban from Borders Cafe is over that gloomy bitch will wish she had my 5 sales each morning. Try making your numbers without me, skank. That's right. You heard me. Why don't you crank up that depressing Ani Difranco tripe some more while your girlfriend's on her smoke break? That's what I thought! Fine! Call security! I'm out of here anyway...

Trev Alberts is a former ESPN commentator. He will be at the Omaha Barnes & Noble Cafe from Noon-5pm today.