Big Ten TV: We've Got it All!

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

With the new Big Ten Network on the horizon, I've decided to roll up my sleeves and get think up some programming. Maybe I'll get noticed by the suits over there and land a sweet desk job. I could be the next Rich Eisen! That totally worked out for him, why not me too?

There's got to be more to this channel than water polo and men's gymnastics meets.
Here's a few of the shows I'm pitching:

Wheel of Fish would fit this station like a glove.

• Early Morning English with Ron Zook: Teaching cabbies everywhere how to say "Illinoise."
• Get Up and Move with Joe Paterno: Learn the secrets to a healthier self as coach dazzles you with feats of strength! Pilot episode: JoePa pulls a semi with his teeth!
  
• Who Wants to be a Buckeye? Jim Tressel hosts as recruits win fabulous prizes! (no questions asked.)
• Michigan SportsCentury: The 1981 Rose Bowl. Relive Bo's only title every morning at 10am!
• Justice Squad with Carl Monday: Tonight, Santonio Holmes, child molesting, libraries.
  
• Iowa's Strongest Lineman: Watch the battling behemoths struggle through grueling physical challenges and competitive eating contests!
• Madison after Dark: Go underground with the fictional Pi Pi Pi frat. (NSFW)
  
• Big Ten Late Nite: Northwestern Soccer vol. 1 (NSFW)

That's what I've got for now, but this network's potential is limitless! If they don't like any of these ideas, they could at least run a few hours of Wheel of Fish or Stanley Spadowski's Clubhouse.

Trev Alberts is a former ESPN desk filler. He still can't believe they cancelled Let's Make a Deal.