Only serving 10,000?

By ESPN Mobile Guy
hopefully of ESPN.com

No...No....No no no......NO! This can't be happening! Apparently, ESPN Mobile has only 10,000 customers. That's it! America, you need to tighten it up. Get out there and buy these things or my 15 minutes is up. Without ESPN Mobile being plugged every 5 minutes on all 5 ESPNs, I'll never work my way up to anchor. There has to be more ways to get these out there...

The guy at Best Buy won't let me near these anymore.

• Subliminal messages during PTI.
• Berman changes everyone's nickname to "ESPN Mobile."
• All MLB trades involving Players to be Named Later now include ESPN Mobiles.
• Constant "Chasing ESPN Mobile" updates on news ticker.
• Live cuts to ANYONE using the damn thing.
• Install free copies of Mobile Tecmo Bowl.
  
• "You're with me, Leather" ringtones and wallpapers.

Get on it, everyone. I need this.

ESPN Mobile Guy still aspires to be on the Worldwide Leader. He can't afford ESPN Mobile.