On the Road

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

It takes a certain kind of man to travel the open road and tell the tales that need to be told. I, Trev Alberts am that man. We're taking the show on the road here, just like the old days! Its just me this time, and no, they never did let me go with Corso and Kirk on location, but that's just because I wasn't allowed to leave the state without my P.O. That is neither here nor there. That is all in the past. We must look to the future now. Onward!

Here's the rundown:
-I'm currently stationed at Omaha's Eppley Airfield Airport.
-From there, I will fly standby to whichever location has available seating and cocktail service.
-Once I arrive at my destination, I will take in the local sights and sounds of the local football scene.
-When faced with boredom, lack of funding, or court order, we head to a new random spot!

Its going to be non-stop adventure, excitement, and $7 airport bar you-call-its. Thanks to the wonders of modern computers, I'll be able to keep you all up-to-date, effortlessly, with the newly-designed Trev Mobile 1 (patent pending)I'll pass you over to my trusty lackey, the kid, to show you what we've got under the hood. Irish?

One of our trusty interns models the Trev Mobile 1 Omni-Helmet.

Alright, sir. The Trev Mobile 1 is designed to keep the end-user, Mr. Alberts, completely in a state of "hands-free reporting splendor." It is a fully-functional audio and video recording center, complete with dicthophone, tape-recorder, digital camera, steady-cam, and satellite uplink. All of the components are rigged for easy access via the Trev Mobile 1's patented Omni-Helmet, rigging the various devices to the user via an elaborate system of duct-tape and exposed copper wiring. The entire system is run by Mr. Alberts old 88mhzPowerMac. It is all powered by 15 industrial lithium-ion batteries soldered onto a varsity-issue snare drum harness. Finally, wireless capabilities are added through a fully functional USSB 12" Satellite dish, allowing for streaming access to the internet, FireMarkMayHQ, and despicable Tijuana puppy snuff films. It is a bitch to lug the extra 40 lbs. around. I could have just brought my laptop, its more than capable to capture the ramblings of this...

Thanks, irish. He's a trooper, our editor, but the only way I could get him flying on the cheap was to stretch the truth with the airlines. We'll just be referring to him as "special" while we're in the air. OK! So we're being asked to leave the lounge...rock and roll. Come on, kid, let's see how many Whiskey Starbucks we can make with those traveler's flasks.

*Transmission ended at 11:36am*

Trev Alberts is a former College Gameday desk jockey. He flies with a binky.