Hand check

By Kirk Herbstreit
ESPN.com

Trev, I need to borrow a moment of your time. I'm pretty sure the suits won't let me put some of this stuff on my corporate blog. Thanks.

If I could be serious for a moment, I'd like to address the fanatic masses huddled around their computer screens as I speak. There have been a few stories floating around the internet lately about the moral fiber of my fellow fans of The Ohio State University. I would like to say that these stories, on the whole, do NOT accurately represent the Buckeye Nation.

I know what you're saying. Kirk, what about this guy? Wasn't he caught pleasuring himself in a public library? Surely, ALL Ohio State fans must do the same! That is just a blatant generalization. I mean, we all enjoy a good walk in the park after the Buckeyes win, but this kid was determined. He could have gone out and burned some furniture with the rest of us, but he chose to celebrate in his own way. Is it a crime to be passionate about football? Hell no! Let's break down that tape. He's got a motor that just won't quit, he's ambidextrous AND he's got great field vision. See him pump fake that librarian? He's a gamer. All day tough this kid.

Stay classy, Columbus.

Not much can be said about this guy, though. No excuse for chatting online with 13-year-old boys, unless you're trying to get them on a scholarship to Columbus. How do we know this guy wasn't a booster? Text messaging is still legal, right? I know, I know, the kid's probably not a junior, but who can wait 7 years? If we can't jump our own kids, we leave the door wide open to other coaches! Wait, that came out wrong. You know what I mean. All I'm saying is of course he tried to meet the boy in person, its not smart to mail cash.

Here's to the best damn stached fans in the land. If loving your team is wrong, I don't want to be right, even if that love leaves streaks.

Thanks for the favor, Trev. I'll try to slip in a good word for you.

Kirk Herbstreit can be seen this fall on ESPN's College Gameday. He is currently pantsless.