COME ON!

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

I finallly get over my hangover only to be greeted by THIS. Unbelievable, ESPN, unbelievable. These new broadcasting lineups are just plain wrong. First of all, none of them include me. How many muffin baskets does a guy need to send out to get some attention over there? I would fit in perfectly with any of those setups, yes, even the weeknight crew with Lou and Mark.

It would be so great if Lou and I could team up to backhand Mark's completed biased, unresearched analysis on live television. There would have to be some darn interesting mid-week MAC matchups, or else that "controversial" jackass would be getting served for about 3 hours nightly. I'm sure he's used to that by now. Poor guy's already going to get served nightly by an old-timer like Lou Holtz, I just want to pile on the fun.

Boob is clearly reading for some footbaw.

As for those so-called "primetime" teams? No offense to Mr. Davie, but its foot-BALL. THERE'S A FREAKING L AT THE END! DAMN! Sorry...I've been holding that in for a long, long time. Wow though, him and Herbstreit in the same booth PLUS Brent Musberger? Yikes. Kirk will barely get a word in edgewise with those two rambling, Brent with his lateset Heisman man-crush and Boob with his "When I coached footbaw" routine.

Have fun with that college football fans, maybe it'll work out. Its not likely without yours truly in the equation, but hey, whatre you going to do?

Trev Alberts is a former ESPN analyst. This season he can be seen at home daily.