Mailbag

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

It sure is great to come home to a mailbox full of letters. The site's only been running for a few weeks, but it seems we have our fair share of admirers. On to my adoring fans:

Q: Trev, who is your favorite college mascot and why?
-Jake Buck, Lorain, OH

A: Without a doubt, Jake, my favorite mascot is the Big Red of Western Kentucky University. That guy is a loveable big red whatsit, and I just think he's the greatest. I'll take that muppet over Herbie Husker anyday just on sheer originality, and because I love muppets. He's not an ancient warrior, a wildcat, a tiger, or a bulldog, either, so points for that. Also, big points for the "big mascot belly" and "googly eyes," I'm easily amused.

Q: Why do you hate Mark May so much? A friend of mine said you walked out on ESPN and you were actually replaced by Lou Holtz.
-Mark Dugmore, Wood Dale, IL

A: I'm not allowed to make fun of Lou Holtz by my editor. He told me his "college football idols" are off limits. Considering only three of them are alive (Lou Holtz, Ara Parshegian, and the guy who played Dan Devine in "Rudy"), I figured I'd lay off the old-timer. I like having a website that works, and the kid works for free, so its a win-win.
As for Mr. May, I decided to rally behind a common enemy of the football world. Seems like he doesn't have too many fans at WVU and Notre Dame, not a bad start. Besides, he embodies that rare combination of knee-jerk reactionism, ESPN arrogance, and horrible facial hair. What's to like?

Q: Bruce Ciskie has his college blogger roundtable up, care to add your opinion?
-Jeff Cross, Savannah, GA

A:I'm not one for gimmick-writing, Jeff...Oh wait. Yeah, I looked it over, and I thought the questions were great. I still think its too early to be speculating and hypothesizing. Sure, it passes the time, but so does NCAA 2006. I'm sure we'll all be taking a break when 2007 comes out in a few weeks. In the meantime, there's always Hasselhoff on YouTube.

Q:What's an average day like at FireMarkMay.com?
-Taylor Bashline, Springfield, NJ?

A:Well, mostly we just sit around and do a shot of Jager everytime the site gets a visitor. That day the Pitt and WVU fans found us really hurt, but we're still here, and even though the walls have a few more holes, we managed to keep most of our security deposit. If the site ever takes off, I'm thinking daily AA meetings. The rest of the time I basically sit around goofing off on various blogs while people yell at me to write new copy. Tommorrow is hawaiian shirt day, however, so yeah, there's that too.

That's it for now, but feel free to mail the kid with your questions. New letters would give us a nice distraction from our EA 2006 WAC dynasty.

Trev Alberts is a former ESPN analyst. He is looking for freedom.