Johnny 5: Binary Switching

By Johnny 5
Nova Laboratories, Inc.

Damn squishy pollsters! The lot of you are giving me and my steely brethren a bad name! Not only are the pollsters falling sway to such human emotions as conference affiliations and regional biases, but the carbon-based intermedia is acting like this trvashamockery is the first instance of political action in football history! Trust me, if we could beat you all at Tic-Tac-Toe back in the 60s, we could have told you Alabama didn't win any national championships, but no one would let us. It was all "Beep, Boop, Yes sir, No sir, Does not compute."

Let's look at the final computer rankings, and maybe then you'll realize that it's OK to switch rankings on the final week of the season. I mean, it's no different than jumping idle teams mid-season now, is it?

Final Week vs. BCS Week 7:

-Florida: 24 23 25 24 23 23
: 22 22 23 23 22 22

-Michigan: 23 24 23 23 24 24
: 23 24 22 22 24 24

-Ohio State: 25 25 24 25 25 25
: 25 25 24 25 25 25

-USC: 20 18 22 22 22 22
: 24 23 25 24 23 23

From Computer Week 7 to the Final Rankings, the Gators jumped Michigan in exactly 1 poll, the Anderson & Hester. In 2 of the 4 polls, Florida was already ahead of Michigan. In another 2 polls, the Wolverines maintained their #2 position, and in the Billingsley computer, Florida captured a 2nd place tie in the final week. For argument's sake, I've included Southern Cal's computer rankings to illustrate that Florida has the EXACT computer record of the previous week's "consensus #2" Trojans. Also, note that the Buckeyes were always #2 to the Gators in the third computer, the Colley Matrix.

What does this prove? Of course, we know that the computers boosted Florida into a second-place tie. We know that a portion of this in contributed to the fall of Troy and the Gators' 13th game against highly-ranked Arkansas in the SEC Championship. These things are given. What I am trying to illustrate here is that, in the cold, unfeeling realm of my computer comrades, Florida logically jumped Michigan. If there is ever an argument for a conference to add a title game, it is the 2006 Florida Gators. Love it or hate it, the final game allowed them to schedule a tough opponent at the last possible second.

The computers are just one part of the equation, and since Florida and Michigan statistically tied, the human polls became the source of this year's controversy. I support the fallible human pollsters in their Gator-jumping. When you break it down, it just makes sense. If the week 7 standings were in stone, why make a final rankings? What makes Michigan's drop worse than any other team bypassed mid season on an idle week (and there were numerous occasions)? Leave the system out of this, greedy media types! The system gave an unbiased opinion, and some people are upset? Now who's biased?

I'm looking forward to this year's title game, even if my Vegas mainframe buddies are calling for a Buckeye blowout. I'll let Michigan keep its dignity by not divulging the results of their simulated rematch.

Johnny 5 is FireMarkMay.com's registered Xbox Live server. He has been working overtime since Trev's latest streak of online NCAA domination.