Week 13: The Bloodening
It's been a rough weekend, everyone. I've had my fair share of turkey, football, and festivity-related binge drinking, a four-day deluge of gluttony and jet-lag that none of us may recover from any time soon. The office took the pilgrimage out to Southern Cal this weekend, and although it may be a while before the kid recovers from his latest zealotry overdose, a good time was had by all. I assure you that he is working diligently to up-post all of the superfluous audio-visual material captured this weekend, so keep an eye peeled.
In other news, there was actually more than one football game played this weekend. While none of them really had too many earth-shattering results for our resident Wheel of Death, there was top 25 action to be had. Let's see we had...one...two...HOLY HECK! 18 top 25 games this weekend?!? I picked a hell of a week to sit out, and by sit out I mean get ferschnickered on the bourbon and rye. Let's just do some light skimming, shall we? I think my analyzors are still dehydrated from all the whiskey and recirculated air.
Miami(FL) 17-Boston College 14
A deep Nelson-styled guffaw to the Boston College Eagles. HAW HAW! Enjoy whatever non-BCS bowl you just backslid into. Miami(FL) retains some dignity and qualifies for I believe the Boise State SmurfTurf bowl. Idaho should pass a law immediately preventing this from occurring should Miami(FL) not humbly decline the bid in an act of self-discipline. I don't think Boise is zoned for such high levels of keeping it real.
LSU 31-Arkansas 26
A typical SEC game until the final zillion touchdowns at the end. The mutant that is McFadden shocks and awes us all, but its not enough. Makes for an interesting SEC title game, though.
Nebraska 37-Colorado 14
Stay the course, Huskers.
Texas A&M 12-Texas 7
Oh, I'm sure the Texas fans wanted me to pick against them yet again, but alas, it was not to be. Have fun at the Cotton Bowl, 'Horns. We'll take care of the Petersen-less Sooners for you. I think I'm going to have to borrow our editor's Tempe Liquors Super-Saver card.
Florida 21-Florida State 14
The upset that almost was. Jeff Bowden, we hardly knew ye.
Louisville 48-Pittsburgh 24
Keep padding that resume, Mr. Petrino. I can hear those phones ringing from here. A couple of them may be the BCS, but the rest are certainly not.
South Florida 24-West Virginia 19
Again, can I say I love the Big East? All these little spoilers that could eventually become a pretty darn good conference? Way to be, South Florida. The Golden Alligators, or whatever they are, were able to stymie Coach Rod's knifewrench offense, relegating them to bowls unknown.
Boise State 38-Nevada 7
I don't want my Huskers to be "that team" for the up-and-coming Broncos, but it certainly seems like it. Short of computer shenanigans or certifiably insane bowl boosters, the Smurfs are headed for a Fiesta.
Oklahoma 27-Oklahoma State 21
And I have a new target of my Big XII wrath. Bring it, Sooners!
Rutgers 38-Syracuse 7
Woo! Rutgers! Yeah! They're still awesome, right? Hello? Anyone? Not so much? Big game against WVU next week, where's all of the love?
Georgia 15-Georgia Tech 12
I want to know if Calvin Johnson took out an insurance policy against Reggie Ball's completion rate (6-22 this week). I'm just saying. However, can I get odds on the Detroit Lions drafting in the first round? 4-1? 5-1?
Virginia Tech 17-Virginia 0
Al Groh still has his job. Someone explain this to me.
Tennessee 17-Kentucky 12
Is Kentucky good or something? I completely missed this one. I could also care less.
Wake Forest 38-Maryland 24
Wake Forest and Georgia Tech for the ACC title. Fantastic. The Orange Bowl is destined for the Big East/ACC matchup, and the favorite is going to be the conference that LOST Miami, BC, and VTech.
BYU 33-Utah 31
The Wizard of Odds has all of the angles on the best ending of the weekend. Pure Mormon Chaos.
South Carolina 31-Clemson 28
'Cocks win, fan fires rifle in celebration.
Hawaii 42-Purdue 35
I got nothing. Hawaii plays Purdue. Many points scored. Boilers lose in new time zone. Yeah, that's about it.
Southern Cal 44-Notre Dame 24
The non-football shenanigans pale in comparison to the football shenanigans in this game. Color me and the staff impressed. In both football and pomp, this Southern Cal team has made a believer out of me. If there was a way for SC and OSU to play in a title-less bowl game, I would pay good money to see these guys humble the Buckeyes, if only to see the riots that would ensue. Unfortunately, they do not, so I hope they both die like pigs in hell. Yep, there was a lot of hate flowing this weekend. No doubt.
Sorry again for the quick and dirty rundown everyone, but I can only do so much while the kid is seculded in the A/V lab. Geek.
Trev Alberts is fully instrument-rated for Microsoft Flight Simulator. He is still wanted by the TSA.