Week 11 Trevonics

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

ITS GETTING QUITE NOISY IN HERE! BRODERICK IS PUTTING THE WHEEL OF DEATH THROUGH ITS LATEST PACES, AND IVE GOT A PLANE TO CATCH! KID! WHERE ARE MY BAGS? (They're almost done, Trev. Now give me back my Caps Lock.-IO) OK! I mean...Ok. Of course, the one week I need to get the heck out of Dodge, and the weekend's slate becomes the heftiest of the heft. I think we've got like 12 games on the docket this week. Cripes. Let's get this over with before that flaming Wheel of Death destroys us all. Freaking Rutgers....

Season-to-date:
Straight Up: 67-24
Against the Spread: 49-40-1

Alright. If I can go 12-0 this week, I can start tooting some horns. This must be what Lousiville felt like. Snap.

West Virginia (-18) vs. Cincinnati 1200et (ESPN2)
I've got two teams that have nothing to play for in this one. Cincy is probably looking to spoil someone after near-missing Louisville, but West Virginia is already spoiled. Yeah, it's a lot of points, but I don't think the Bearcats have the wear-with-all to survive the revenge of WVU's knife-wrench offense.
Trev's pick: West Virginia

Wisconsin (-1.5) at Iowa 1200et (ESPN)
Iowa, also having very little to play for, versus Wisconsin, who has very much to play for. I don't like the looks of this at all. Either way, there is interest in this game. Either my beloved beer-swilling Badgers are exposed as the pudgy cupcake-eating frauds they are suspected to be, or the prospects of the Big Ten/Rose Bowl/split-champion math begins to rear its snaggletoothed head. It was brought up in the comments that the Wisconsin could lock out a 1-loss Ohio State or Michigan if the conference ends in a three-way tie. Glorious. I hadn't considered that at all. This explains all of Broderick's noisy goings-on...
Trev's pick: Wisconsin

Ohio State (-23) at Northwestern 330et (ABC)
If the Buckeyes are going to lose, its not going to be here. Illinois may have given everyone the book on defending the Buckeyes (its at least possible....), but there is no way the Northwestern defense can come within a mile of pulling this off. I just don't believe. They are going to need a talking golden retriever, the ghost of a WWII-era wingback, and flubber if they want to think about covering.
Trev's pick: Ohio State

Indiana (+19) vs. Michigan 330et (ESPN)
Now, HERE'S your crazy talk. Indiana, playing for bowl eligibility, embracing the spoiler role, and pulling for their coach at home. Huge spoilage possibilities, especially considering the occurrence of the rare double trap. Ball State, Indiana, Ohio State....DOUBLE TRAP! Love it. Hoosiers all the way.
Trev's pick: Indiana

South Carolina (+12.5) at Florida 330et (CBS)
Take the points in the SEC game. Can Urban Meyer's gunknife offense 9mm stab the Gamecocks? I think the Gators have two scores in them: A Tim Tebow off-tackle, and a sick Percy Harvin scramble. It's just that easy. The visor may not be able to overcome the Gator defense and get out of the Swamp alive, but I think they can cover this. Split pick.
Trev's pick: Florida to win, South Carolina to cover

Maryland (-3.5) vs. Miami (FL) (ABC)
(Wow, let's just apologize now for the brief insensitivity we posted for a few minutes. Recent events had completely slipped my mind when I let Trev analyze this one. No use kicking the 'Canes while they are down, but the pick can still stand. -IO)
Trev's pick: Maryland

Nebraska (-1) at Texas A&M 330et (ABC)
Huskers. Yes. Aggies. No. Next.
Trev's pick: Nebraska

California (-13.5) at Arizona 330et (ABC)
The new Oregon continues towards the Coliseum like a runaway train. Trap games be damned. Sorry, Mr. Stoops, but you're just standing on the tracks.
Trev's pick: California

Tennessee (+6) at Arkansas 700et (ESPN)
I want Arkansas to win this game, I really do. I'm sure the Auburn Tigers do just the same, as locking themselves out of the SEC title game probably locks them into a BCS at-large. Hooray for capitalism! I'm taking the points here, because apparently you ALWAYS TAKE TEH POINTS !!!1!!1 If this is in Neyland, this is a bit easier for me, but I'm taking the Vols anyway.
Trev's pick: Tennessee

LSU (-18) vs. Alabama 745et (ESPN)
Alabama, reeling from last week's loss to Miss. St., steps into Death Valley. Quoting Michael Oher, because that's what trendy journalists do, "That's a bad place down there, mama." It's going to be like watching the Discovery channel, and I mean that in the most respectful way, like watching a lion eat a gazelle, or an octopus eating a shark.
Trev's pick: LSU

Wake Forest (+8.5) at Florida State 800et (ABC)
REALLY? Come on. That line can't be right. It may be a trap, but I just don't see it. I think FSU fans are actually pulling for Wake Forest in this one, just to prove a point.
Trev's pick: Wake Forest

Notre Dame (-11.5) at Air Force 400et (CSTV)
Finally, we get to my CSTV magic. Notre Dame gets the participate in the storied tradition of being covered by me, Trev Alberts. I'm looking forward to the crisp mountain air of Colorado. The golden Coors flowing like wine, the Air Force fly-bys, and watching the Irish hate on America. Playing all three service academies? Pfft. Although I will say their schedule could be lighter militarily. They could beat up on the Citadel and VMI. Don't overlook the irony of the Falcons getting dominated in the air by the Irish, I'm out of here.
Trev's pick: Notre Dame

Ok, kid. I'm out for the weekend. I'll take my bags, now, and you have the emergency numbers. If I'm not back by Tuesday, avenge my death.

Trev Alberts has logged over 10,000 air miles this season. He hordes his frequent flyer points like a miserly squirrel.