News Flash: MSU makes obvious call

By Muppet Newscaster
ESPN News

Ruxpin brings a wealth of football knowledge, as well as magic crystals, to the MSU program.

I am definitely pulling my weight around here today....This is an ESPNNEWS flash! This evening in East Lansing, Michigan, the Michigan State Spartans announced that university officials have already named a successor to recently departed head coach John L. Smith. Rumors have been simmering for weeks now, but shortly after Smith stepped down, a name that had been swirling around internet message boards finally became fact. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the next coach of the Michigan State Spartans is none other than Teddy Ruxpin.

Ruxpin, a former assistant under H.R. Pufnstuf, is more well-known for his fantastic escapades in the magical land of Rillonia, seeking the Treasure of Grundo, and the West-Coast offense. The loveable bear gave a prepared cassette tape accepting the position and then followed up with a brief Q&A. He stated that much of his staff is already in place, having begun planning shortly after the Notre Dame game, and will definitely include his recruiting sidekick, Grubby (sold seperately). Also, he stressed a return to traditional Spartan football, mentioning former lineman Bubba Smith as one of his childhood idols. The new coach plans to hit the recruiting trails immediately following a brief soujorn to stop the nefarious plans of Quellor, the Supreme Opressor of the Monsters and Villians Organization.

We here at FireMarkMay.com wish Coach Ruxpin the best of luck and are sure he is bound for some amazing adventures.