Oregon to create Oregon Bowl

By Muppet Newscaster
ESPN News

An early prototype of Rutgers' limited-edition Nike Bowl uniforms.

Eugene, OR--In a move similar to the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl and Boise State's MPC Computers Bowl, the University of Oregon has agreed to host their own bowl game, tentatively titled the Nike Bowl, to be held Dec. 31st at Autzen Stadium. The bowl will feature the Ducks vs. the at-large team that whines the most about the BCS outcome. Early favorites for the bid are Auburn, Wisconsin, and pretty much any team from the Big East.

"We've been thinking about doing this for some time," said Bill Moos, Oregon's AD. "The Ducks have a storied tradition of being locked out of the bigger games, and this is our special way of showing the bigger schools that we mean business. We're going to have our own bowl game, and only we'll get to decide who's invited! Suck on that, BCS!"

Both the Ducks and their eventual opponent will receive new alternate jerseys for the Nike Bowl, complete with bio-luminescent swooshes, personally molded undergarments, and helmets equipped with those cool, Olympic-style flamethrowers. No word yet on the expected half-time extravaganza, but word out of Eugene points to Kevin Federline as "a heavy lean."

More on this as it develops...