Week 9 Trevonics

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

I told you guys, those Germans do not mess around. Thankfully, my self-doubt over last night's Clemson game protected me from losing my shirt on the letdown. Unfortunately, this week's schedule is not doing much to help my confidence. I am completely bumfuzzled in many respects. Where's my bolstering scoreboard?

Season-to-date-
SU: 51-18
ATS: 39-28-1

It's good, not great. Damn the Germans! Full speed ahead!

Michigan (-30) vs. Northwestern 1200et (ESPN)
The morning slate of games does very little to intrigue the BCS robots in all of us, and have settled into a nice rhythm of catering solely to degenerate wagerers. I don't even know if Wolverine fans are even bothering to wake up for this one. Michigan is good and Northwestern is not so much. 30 points is a whole darn hell of a lot, but I'm not going to split this. Why? Because the skunkbear front 7 is going to eat several transmogrified Wildcat QBs for brunch.
Trev's pick: Michigan

Wisconsin (-21.5) vs. Illinois 1200et (ESPN2)
At least we have two ridiculous blowouts to switch between while we enjoy the FireMarkMay Gameday brunch. Given the early start time of the ND-Navy game, the kid will be fashioning some kind of buffet for all of us. Bloo has called dibs on the waffle station, which reminds me that we are out of peanut M&Ms and teriyaki sauce. Back to this game, Wisconsin is certainly sole member of the Big-Ten's "second tier," and Illinois remains Illinois. This isn't rocket science, people. Moon waffles, now that's rocket science.
Trev's pick: Wisconsin

Oklahoma (+1.5) at Missouri 1200et (ABC)
Oh how the Sooners have fallen! Lament, Sooner fans, as it has come to this. They are the underdogs at Missouri, and I think at least two of the horsemen of the apocalypse are covering this game. Here's the catch, all of the press on OU has been about "decline" or "lowered expectations," but it's all freaking smoke and mirrors, just like this Missouri team. Look, we've got a Tiger defense that is still soft on the run, and Stoops has quietly gotten decent replacement production out of the RB slot. Combine this with the possibility of Missouri looking forward to Lincoln, and the Tigers continue to settle into their December-bowl vengeance game.
Trev's pick: Oklahoma

Minnesota (+27) at Ohio State 330et (ABC)
Ok, here's the deal: I know Minnesota is Northern ASU, I've talked about my hangups with them enough, and they will likely get smoked in the the Horseshoe like a nice piece of peppered gopher jerky. However, 27 points is a whole darn hell of a lot. Considering Minnesota should be trying to hold onto the ball as much as freaking possible, and that they are theoretically suited to this type of play, I say they cover barring a complete offensive meltdown. Splitting the pick, because...um...yeah...Ohio Sate is good. I read that somewhere.
Trev's pick: Ohio State to win, Minnesota to cover

Georgia Tech (-5) vs. Miami(FL) 330et (ABC)
Here's where Georgia Tech separates the 9-3 from the 7-5. Can they control themselves, complete 50% of Reggie Ball's passes, and manage to thwart the impending tailspin following the Clemson game? Miami of Florida, actually not as bad as everyone is trying to say (on the field of course, not off the field...or was that on the field too? I'm confused...) and they are primed to make their own Seminole-like backslide into the ACC title game. The pressure's on all around to make this a statement game, and I really don't know how to call this, so I'll just flip my trusty "Reggie Ball decision coin." Heads. Crap.
Trev's pick: Georgia Tech

Nebraska (-5.5) at Oklahoma State 330et (ABC)
RESPECT THE HUSKERS! I laugh at your feeble -5.5 points, German pig-dogs! You have slipped in your diligent point spreading, and now you must face the Wrath of Trev! Honestly, suck it down, Cowboys! Really, does anyone expect me to be objective here?
Trev's pick: Nebraska

Florida (-13.5) vs. Georgia 330et (CBS)
The World's Largest Outdoor Coke Orgy I! A cocktail party by any other name will still have people throwing up in the local river. It is no secret that our hatred for the lazily named county/town of Jacksonville knows no bounds, and the word on the street is that this game will be 75% Florida fans. I just don't like the way this is looking at all. I am going to buck my previous statement about taking SEC rivalry points because Georgia has the cards, and several thousands adult-beverage enjoying Gator fans, stacked against them. No split pick, cocktail me.
Trev's pick: Florida

Texas Tech (+10) vs. Texas 700et (TBS)
YARR! Who doesn't love pirates? The seas have been rough for this swarthy crew, and other hackneyed maritime metaphors, but I have this strange feeling that the Raiders can pull this one out. Do I dare split the pick? Hell no, matey! I'm hopped up on bootlegged rum! YARR!
Trev's pick: Texas Tech

Connecticut (+19.5) at Rutgers 800et (ESPN)
This one is going to bite me, I can feel it. UCONN has me convinced that they are a scrappy underdog of a team that is just searching for a way to get it all together. In the meantime, they resemble a respecatble football team that managed to make the WVU game interesting last week....for a bit. I don't see Rutgers' offense as being as suited to run circles around the Husky D as the Mountaineers' sawed-off shotgun playbook, so this is going to be a split pick.
Trev's pick: Rutgers to win, Connecticut to cover

Notre Dame (-13) at Navy 1200et (CBS)
The FireMarkMay morning bruncheon spread: It's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch, and it comes with entree action stations! There's not everything you could normally get at either sitting, but you get a good meal! Like I needed to give the ND-Navy game any more storied tradition, I've got a sky blue whatsit making me waffles and a full service bar! USA! USA! I don't hate America, but I'm picking he Irish here. The trend is your friend, and you can't mess with that kind of mojo. If things start looking bad, we're going to start padding the kid's office. I can't even imagine what that kind of hitting bottom would look like.
Trev's pick:Notre Dame

Trev Alberts is a former ESPN analyst. He enjoys him some brunch.