Week 7 Rundown

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

Sorry for the holdup on this week's rundown, everyone. The kid was holed up in his office for no less than 24 hours preparing for his beloved professional football Bears' appearance on the Monday Night Football. A lot of loud cursing and general swearing was heard for roughly 3 hours last night, and this morning, all of us awoke to this lovely wallpaper on the staff computers.

Our editor is a petty, petty man. That's still a sweet hit, though.

Fair play to the Chicago Bears for letting the Cardinals steal defeat from the primetime jaws of victory, and 'Kudos' to all of my friends at the Worldwide Leader for publicly admitting their unrequited man-love for Matt Leinart. The broadcasted "servicing" of their newest crossover celebrity was even captured by the closed captioning, but enough of these working stiffs and back to the scoreboard...

Week 7 Results-
SU: 6-5
ATS: 7-4

Season-to-date-
SU: 45-14
ATS: 35-22-1

Simply slogging through this week, Trevonics fought the good fight and managed to stay respectable in the face of 11 games of top 25 action.

Indiana 31-Iowa 28
The morning started off with a delightful surprise as the hopes and dreams of many a fan across this great land were shattered in a sea of Indiana football Jerseys...yes they make those. I'm pretty sure this concludes this year's episode of "Iowa Hawkeyes: When Dark Horses go Bad." The trendy pick once again goes south, making fools of pollsters and pundits alike while pretty much cementing the fact that Michigan/tOSU will cause some kind of biblical catastrophe. Michigan could still keep the "cursed #2" mojo going next week, but not if Iowa plays like this.

Wisconsin 48-Minnesota 12
This was as predictable as the smooth refreshing taste of an ice-cold Pabst Blue Ribbon. That's not sarcasm, that's the fact. Like a frosty PBR, Wisconsin's play this year has been a hardy, blue-collar treat that is surprisingly good. The Badgers handily defeated their non-descript Big Ten neighbors to the north on their way to a very respectable 9 to 10 win season. Overall, some relatively harmless morning football.

Rutgers 34-Navy 0
No disrespect to the Scarlet Knights, but it is really unfortunate for Navy to lose QB Brian Hampton. When you run a wonderfully thrownback offense like the Middies do, you run this risk. Not to trivialize this horrible injury, but we've played enough service academy dynasties to empathize with how much impact these kinds of things have on a program. More than your more modern offenses, the wishbone/wing-T/power-I game runs almost 100% through a guy like Hampton, and he will be missed. Getting back to Rutgers, they definitely look like a serious Big East spoiler.

Texas A&M 25-Missouri 19
The hate for Coach Fran branches out into yet another state. Missouri downgrades its postseason status from "late-December blowout victim" to "early-December 'I forgot they were kind of good' pool selection." I like how this looks for my boys in Lincoln. I'm just crossing my fingers that they can beat Texas once.

Oregon 30-UCLA 20
Oregon is the new Cal! Free Money! And other exclamatory remarks! UCLA made me nervous at the end, but I have to say that I should have never doubted the calming power of Coach Karl. The kid has started his media silence regarding the Bruins, and the Ducks barrel towards their date with the Trojans.

Ohio State 38-Michigan State 7
COME ON! Well, it's finally official, the Michigan State collapse is complete. They looked absolutely horrid and were pantsed by the Buckeyes. Nothing like a humiliating beatdown to turn your season around. John L Smith deathwatches are on, but I so wanted to see them make the switch during a December bowl game. I feel that it would have brought proper closure to the situation. The unnecessary Spartan statement game has been moved to...Indiana? Penn State? I have zero clue on this. As for THE Ohio State, they are playing a different freaking sport.

Texas 63-Baylor 31
This one was forgettable on Friday night, but if there's any take away from this, its Baylor putting up 31 on Texas in not-completely-garbage time.

Michigan 17-Penn State 10
DAMN ZOMBIES! I had this one pegged as a 2005 Ohio State type melee, and it had all of the makings of one too. Unfortunately, Penn State couldn't keep the momentum rolling against the Michigan front 7, and the Nittany Lions even JUST miss the cover with the early missed FG. This is a game that Michigan could have easily lost in a tough road environment, not unlike tOSU at home against Penn State before the late INTs. Penn State is cobbling together a respectable year, and they have plenty of talent, but hats off to the Michigan coaching staff for winning a game that good teams should win. (I think I'm going to call in your bar tab now, Trev...-IO)

Southern Cal 28-Arizona State 21
Arizona State, the prodigal son returns. I always knew you had it in you, you innocent little PAC-10 scamps, you. The Sun Devils get the nice cover as USC continues their rope-a-dope schedule (that has to be what this is, right?) while PAC-10 coaches line up to hand them games at the last second. The internet rumblings of a vast West Coast conspiracy to keep the Trojans undefeated are stating to make more sense than they should. Meanwhile, our editor just keeps buying more supplies for his trip to LA.

Boise State 40-New Mexico 28
This game has to be proof in the argument that college sports point-spreads can never be 100% accurate because there are just too many games. Some of them have to slip through the cracks, and you have to think this was one of them. Boise State, while perfectly playing their role as this year's mid-major goliath, was spotting 28 points to the seemingly lowly Lobos. 28 points is still a lot of points, in a conference that loves its scoring, and under clock rules that make the game as long as a CBS movie-of-the-week. Combine this with spoilage opportunities, and New Mexico is going to try to play keep away from the "explosive" Broncos.

Auburn 27-Florida 17
Ending the night was the SEC heavyweight fight on ESPN Full Circle, Don King PPV, and the inaugural Trev-o-vision. The game did not disappoint in its ridiculous ways to tally up the score in an SEC game. I think the conference has a by-law stating that the score should be a non-football number at at least one point in every game. The scores on this one were 10-5, 10-8, and 17-11 at some point. In the end, Auburn won as foreseen in Revelations, and the referee bashing proceeded as it does after every big-time matchup.

Trev Alberts is the sole proprietor of Trevonics, Inc. He is not currently accepting franchise bids.