Week 7 Trevonics

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

Sweet merciful crap! This week's bounty of games is kind of like a visit to the Old Country Buffet. We've got trip after trip of slightly average fare for about 8 hours, only to reach the delicious make-your-own-soft-serve that awaits us at the end. There is a vertiable cornucopia of action going on this Saturday, with 11, count them, 11 national games involving ranked opponents. I plan on gorging myself on the afternoon's servicable offerings like medium-hot chicken wings and mac 'n cheese followed by a nightcap of extraordinary magnitude. The kid should be off of his bye-week anti-biotics by then, and without him making a trip this weekend, the office is primed for a...wait for it....FULL STAFF LIVE-BLOGGING EXTRAVAGANZA! I still have to make sure we've taken the proper precautions and stocked the proper rations, but it looks like a go. Check back later today/Satrday for more details.

We're going to potentially have Michigan, USC, Florida/Auburn, and Texas/pointspread all at the same time? With the editor in the house? I love this plan. I'm excited to be a part of it! Scoreboard!

Season-to-date-
SU: 39-8
ATS: 28-18-1

It's good, but it could be better. 11 games is a big week for the Trevonics.

Indiana (+19.5) vs Iowa 1200et (ESPN2)
Kicking off the slate is the morning "degenerate gamblers" game. I don't have any real doubts here about Iowa taking care of business, but that looks like WAY too many points. I mean, I know its Indiana, but if you want to buy-in to the belief that [name redacted]'s Illini defense is competent, you have to give the home team the benefit of the doubt on this one. Split pick all around, but let's make this one interesting.
Trev's pick: Iowa to win, Indiana to cover

Wisconsin (-8) vs Minnesota 1200et (ESPN)
Again, Minnesota, what is it exactly YOU DO here? Quickly becoming the ASU of the Great White North in my Xbox-centric brain, the Golden Gophers bring little to the table here. Wisconsin, on the other hand, is barelling into my good graces like an old-fashioned fraternity kegger. One, Wisconsin=beer. Two, even their band is getting nasty. Now, we may never know what happened on that school bus, but what we do know is the student section is more than happy to pick up the crazy slack Saturday morning, early start be damned. Hell, Wisconsin practically invented the 1200et start.
Trev's pick: Wisconsin

Navy (-3) vs. Rutgers 130et (CSTV)
Ah, another quality matchup from my new guys over at CSTV. The University of Navy is having a fantastic season, and so is the State University of New Jersey. It's jsut good times all around. No knock on either team, but I think I have to give the edge to Navy. The Midshipmen haven't had this kind of optimism since Roger Staubach, or when their logo was all about that "Minnesota North Star" dealie. Rutgers has a legitimate shot at turning some Big East heads later in the year, and both of these teams should be getting some respectable late December bowls, but I can't pick against Navy. It's just bad mojo.
Trev's pick: Navy

Missouri (-2) at Texas A&M 330et (ABC)
I haven't spent much time in the South, but the time I have spent has been with two football bloggerly types that sustain a violent hatred for Coach Fran, and one of them spits venom only vicariously. It was definitely enough to get the point across. I'm going to hitch my wagon to the "Mizzou Tiger Train," if only to keep them undefeated before my Huskers take them to learnin' school later in the season. No amount of ball-grabbing will save you this week, Aggies.
Trev's pick: Missouri

Oregon (-8.5) vs UCLA 330et (ABC)
Whoa. Whoa, man. I've got our financial department screaming "FREE MONEY" at me from across the office. Is this line right? Is there something I don't know? I know Olson is out for UCLA, the game is in Autzen, and the new Cal may or may not whip out their blinding all-white, Crest toothpaste uniforms (I can only hope) for this one. Karl Dorell still coaches the Bruins, right? Is Belotti temporarily mini-sized? I'm confused. This game has 42-21 written all over it...unless its a trap game...damn....Nope, I'm sticking with the gut.
Trev's pick: Oregon

Michigan State (+14) vs Ohio State 330et (ABC)
Come on, you crazy Spartans! I know you have one of these in you, you just have to! I'm not entirely sure about the UCLA game, but this one has TRAP written all over it. TRAP TRAP TRAP!. If I could get some internet action for MSU at the half, I would be all over it, but, alas, the Germans only save that business for big national games, and European football. I will ride this Spartan upset thing right into the fricking ground. YEAH! Ohio State could very well demolish the stadium with telekinetic mind-bullets, but having been in many a riot, I can sense this one coming. Some kind of supposedly permanent structure is coming down on this one.
Trev's pick: Michigan State

Texas (-27) vs. Baylor 700et (TBS)
ITS TEXAS VS BAYLOR ON TBS! Do you see what happens when the Atlanta Braves miss the playoffs? Do you see what happens? This is what happens. Sigh. The only thing keeping Texas from covering on this one will be a freak electrical storm a la Iowa State. I don't see anyone calling off the dogs on this one, as losing by 4 scores is basically written into Baylor's Big-XII television contract. At least we get almost an hour of football related action before the night's stridently bigger games.
Trev's pick: Texas

Penn State (+5.5) vs Michigan 800et (ABC)
I hope everyone likes 'Zombie Nation' because you're going to be hearing it a whole heck of a lot Saturday night. Penn State is going to be obviously fired up for this one, 100,000 white T-shirts can't be wrong, and they are ready to take sack up with sweet lady vengeance after last year's traditional Big Ten/Big House magic robbing them of a perfect season. If my team had a season like theirs and was rewarded with FSU, I'd be pissed too. No Manningham to boot, so I'm going to go full-force anti-Mark May on this one, and be completely irrational. Penn State WILL win this game...because I said so.
Trev's pick: Penn State

Arizona State (+19) at Southern Cal 800et (ABC)
Ok...this is it. Arizona State, I expect you to give a performance similar to Washingon State (!) or Washington (double !). If you can't do that...well...you're dead to me. No more playful Xbox-related jabbing. No more flowery praise of Tempe's lovely watering holes. I'll even take the Tempe Liquors discount savings card off of my keyring. Cover. You have it in you. If you want to go ahead and pull a ridiculous upset while you're at it, go ahead, but I'm not completely stupid. On a final note, do the Trojans play road games? I know they were in Arkansas, but they're really pulling the reverse Harlem-Globetrotters right now. They have to have like 9 home games or something.
Trev's pick: Southern Cal to win, ASU to cover

New Mexico (+28) vs Boise State 800et SUNDAY (ESPN)
Way to counter-program Sunday Night Football with Boise State, ESPN. Just a quick head fake here for eveyrone waiting for the Florida/Auburn pick...I enjoy fooling maybe 3 people...Alright, real quick, too many points. Split the pick and move on.
Trev's pick: Boise State to win, New Mexico to cover

Auburn (+2) vs Florida 745et (ESPN Everything)
Here's the twisty cone I've been waiting for! It's a delicious football sundae with all of the ESPN fixin's. ESPN, ESPN2, ESPNU, ESPNNEWS, and whatever the hell ESPN360 is, are all primed to give you every angle conceivable for this SEC heavyweight fight. The sheer randomness of trying to keep track of all of this has me all twitterpated. I think at least one intern will get a seizure keeping track of it all, but we'll put the over/under at 1.5 jsut to get some action. Anyway, as for the actual game, I've been going with home mojo all week, so I have to pick against the Gators and their HJ cheering styles. I'm sure the Florida fans will enjoy me jumping off the bandwagon this week as they need as few "kisses of death" as possible. I expect this game to be more Tennessee-Florida than Tennessee-Georgia as far as big-time SEC night games are concerned, so I'll take the points to stay on the safe side. I'll take Auburn all the way, just because I think they can pull it out...throughly grinding down a schedule-saturated Florida.
Trev's pick: Auburn

That's it for now. I'll get the kid back on this afternoon to let everyone in on the possibilies for the liveblogging. I'm picturing some full-on TREV-O-Vision for this one now that I think of it. I have to get into the editor's office to pitch him all of my great ideas. I think I'm going to need an easel for this one...

Trev Alberts is a former ESPN timekiller. If he could perfect internet smell-o-vision, he would.