NCAA places ASU on double-secret probation

By Muppet Newscaster
ESPN News

Moments after Dennis Erickson was named the head coach at Arizona State University, the NCAA placed the Sun Devil program on double-secret probation, a status normally reserved for Southeastern football teams and Rick Neuheisel.

NCAA investigators have already taken up residence in a local Tempe subdivision, and are preparing for a multitude of potential violations. As we speak, premade forms for recruiting violations, unlawful compensation, and Native-American defamation of character are being drafted. The committee is certain that their precautions will speed along most of their inevitable legal proceedings.

We would like to wish Coach Erickson all the best, and are sure his program will be going on some amazing adventures.