Return to Normalcy

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

What happened?!? Kid, are you back? Oh my gosh! Sorry, everyone, but I blacked out in the middle of that Motor City Bowl. I don't know how they got fifty-four thousand people to watch that steaming pile of astroturf. I mean, Central Michigan gets the ball, scores in 30 seconds or punts, then its the Middle Tennessee State Show! WOO! Woo! Woo....woo... COME ON! Do something with the ball! That Blue Raider team was so bad I was considering watching actual television! Congratulations, MTSU, you were Lifetime movie of the week bad. Words...words cannot describe...

Cutting straight to the scoreboard.

Season to date:
Straight up: 6-2
Against the Spread: 6-2

Now that the staff is filtering in from their various festive family dinners and feasts, I'll be able to take a break from my grueling schedule of prognosticating and insulting mid-major schools. Of course, should nothing of interest happen between now and...well this could be a while...At least we've got two reasonably well-known teams in tonight's exercise in futility!

Emerald Bowl, San Francisco CA
Florida State (+3) vs UCLA (800et 12/27 ESPN)

Oh, how the somewhat mighty have kind of fallen. What appears to be an exercise in offensive futility, or defensive domination depending on how you spin it, will have us all wishing we could be watching one of those LOST clip shows by 9:00. UCLA being the only team that has really done anything in this matchup, and spectacularly upsetting Southern Cal I might add,
while Florida State's marquee win is probably beating up on a very overrated Miami of Florida.

There are a few twists to this game, though. First, we've got the mysterious non-Jeff Bowden offense probably being run by the Seminoles. This could be anything from a return to the single-wing to full-on, spread option, gunknife action. Furthermore, Florida State is apparently angry and doesn't want a losing season. Great, we've got angry Florida college football athlete-students on the run. Thankfully, San Francisco may be the first place all of the 'Noles make bed check. Finally, and this part is my favorite, the teams will have to share a sideline. Holy crap! This could be the early favorite for the bowl season's unintentional comedy award. It would have to off the charts to see these two teams jawing about the Emerald Bowl, let alone break down into an all-out brawl.

Every fiber of Trev in me says taht this game is a coin flip though, so we're going to have to check the tapes, but thanks to the Wizard of Odds, my decision should be crystal clear:



You've got to be freaking kidding me. If that isn't a call for help, I don't know what is. Between this guy and the juggler, you're on your own, UCLA.

Trev's pick: Florida State

Trev Alberts is a former ESPN desk jockey. He draws the spirit line at flag girls.