Updated: Monday, October 29, 2007

Week 10 Blogpoll: Deception!

I see the loyal Trevians are storming the gates like the college football barbarians of yore. I am so proud of my internet army of the night. Kudos to you, fine savage beasts of the Trev! you have awoken me from my slumber, the kid from his numerous distractions, and have earned an earnest and humble apology from your overlord, the Me. Actually, the kid will be the one truly apologizing, because he is sorry, and a little whiny bitch, and my eternal scapegoat. Long story short, I tried to start composing the entire site on his iPhone, but there were just too many spelling errors, too many things unnecessarily auto-corrected, and the entire office is full of sausage-fingered freaks! It was really a perfect storm that was just plain out of control. Also, the Germans have tried to break my legs on numerous occasions, and we lost some of our best interns trying to distract them these past few days. The current casualties of my lackluster selections this season are two thumbs, a pinky nail, three kneecaps, a sternum, and a minor concussion.

With that out of the way, the best way to get the ball back and rolling is with an unnecessary list! Something really arbitrary and time sensitive. You know, something that will be dated almost as soon as we're done posting the damn thing. Of course! A Blogpoll! Specious reasoning ahoy!

  1. Ohio State
  2. Boston College
  3. Louisiana State
  4. Arizona State
  5. Oregon
  6. West Virginia
  7. Kansas
  8. Oklahoma
  9. Missouri
  10. Virginia Tech
  11. Hawaii
  12. Connecticut
  13. Georgia
  14. Auburn
  15. Alabama
  16. South Florida
  17. Southern Cal
  18. Florida
  19. Texas
  20. Clemson
  21. Purdue
  22. Virginia
  23. Wake Forest
  24. Boise State
  25. South Carolina

The breakdown:
The top 5: Ohio State, Boston College, Louisiana State, Arizona State, Oregon
When last met our top 5, I was giving USF the kiss of death. Now, we see some kind of cream surface to the top of this rancid buttermilk of a season. Ohio State and LSU, ok, that makes some sense, even Oregon to some degree, but man, Boston College and Arizona State? This just doesn't happen, people. I almost gave the Sun Devils the number 3, but then remembered that LSU would still chainsaw them into itty bitty pieces of tanned devil jerky 9 times out of 10. Also, their only real victory is this past week over Cal....which is becoming less impressive by the day. Oregon is only a few more steps from claiming the title of best 1-loss team, as I'm sure 2nd losses will continue to be handed out like free Comcast broadband internet.

The next 5: West Virginia, Kansas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Virginia Tech-
Some real judgment calls here, and a big ol' Big XII knot if there ever was one. First of all, WVU has the best remaining one-loss in my opinion that doesn't involve directly losing to Oklahoma. Therefore, they are ahead of OU, which begats the Mizzou, son of Shahazbar of the Ozark tribe. But, where to place Kansas? The current reigning awesome fat man of college football deserves some credit for this ridiculous Jayhawks season, but they can't enter the class of the 1-loss power programs until they backslide into them, defeat Missouri, or win the Big XII title, whichever happens first...and then whatever happens next. Virginia Tech is really wishing for a playoff system right now, as their only losses are to the #2 and #3 teams in the county. They are two Matt Ryan ass-rabbits from the top 5 and riding shotgun in the 1-loss-title shot mobile, but thems the breaks.

The middle 10: Hawaii, UCONN, UGA, Auburn, Alabama, USF, Southern Cal, Florida, Texas, Clemson-
Questions start off the the middle ten. Is there enough crazy juice left in this season to give Hawaii and UCONN various kinds of BCS mojo? Can I just pencil them into the Fiesta Bowl now? Georgia keeps proving me wrong and is on a collision course for the SEC title game if they can get past Auburn in two weeks. The Tigers get the WTF award at this time of the year, having been so up and down while being on both sides of some truly pivotal games. Bama has the shot to do its fair share of damages at home against The Chainsaw. South Florida's ranking is honorary at this point, just because they can almost be argued as a pick'em against the Trojans...and I'm enjoying that right now more than anything else. Florida rides its quality 5 wins and 3 quality losses as far as their SEC pedigree will take them, and that's more than sleepwalking UT. Clemson still gets style points from me, and I'll still take them over anyone in the bottom 5.

The last 5: Purdue, Virginia, Wake Forest, Boise State, Tennessee-
Purdue gives the Big Ten their second representative in the top 25 on the merits of them not being Wisconsin or the exiled Michigan. They have 2 losses...to UM and tOSU. That's the Big Ten equivalent of losing to LSU and Auburn, but, you know, not as much because its not the SEC. UVA and Wake Forest are surviving the allure of mediocrity, the siren song of the ACC, and Tennessee rounds out the top 25 for being better than the Visor head to head.

The mysterious remains:
Wisconsin, South Carolina, Kentucky, California-
Again, a constant reminder that Michigan remains unranked. No points awarded. None. We are, however, secretly rooting for them to win the Big Ten by the destruction of Ohio State, whirling the free world into chaos, and spreading the Appalachian State herpes to a vast majority of the nation. Wisconsin, South Carolina, and Kentucky can still back into the bottom 5 (or better) if they win out....but California is hanging on by a very thin thread.

Trev Alberts is not a recognized Blogpoller. He cannot be auto-corrected.

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