8/31 Trevonics

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

Time to start laying down the law as I descend from up on high, bringing my football acumen to the masses, like Charlton Heston with that sweet biblical beard of his. Anyway, we have four games on the television docket today primed and ready to be washed down with frosty beverages, greasy bar food, and the tears of many a gambler across this great computer technoweb. Keeping in mind some of my various "Trev-factors", and a few that have yet to be revealed, let's press on.

*DISCLAIMER*
My legal department, currently agonizing over Virginia's playbook in NCAA 2007, has reminded me to remind you that gambling is most likely illegal in your home jurisdiction, and that these are for entertainment purposes only.

Boston College (-11.5) at Central Michigan 6pm EST (ESPN2)
The "Road to Boise" begins somewhere in Michigan as BC kicks off their 2006 season againt the proud Chippewas. CMU brings a lot to the table for this game, but the most important thing is their uniforms. Appearing remarkably similar in their goldish, maroonish garb, the Chippewas complete the illusion of this being a scrimmage for Boston College as the Eagles prepare for another season as an ACC also-ran. The only real winners in this game are fans hungry for college football at 6pm on a Thursday. Trev's pick: BC

Miami (OH) coach Montgomery has his work cut out for him.

Northwestern (-4.5) at Miami (OH) 730 EST (ESPNU)
The Wildcats, with their retooled existentialist playbook, take on the Redhawks tonight at the Cradle of Coaches. On the one hand, a wildcat could totally take a redhawk in a fight, but if that redhawk is trained by a skilled falconer, it could be a close one. Northwestern gets back to focusing on football after a long offseason and is ready for this. Trev's pick: Northwestern

Minnesota (-15) at Kent State 730 EST (ESPN360, wtf?)
While the Golden Flashes have one of the best innuendo nicknames in all the land, this game is a tuneup for the Gophers' trip to Berkeley next week. I have two questions. 1. What the hell is ESPN 360? and 2. Do they need someone to call this game? I'm available. My only real concern is finding this game so I can watch both Big 11 matchups at once. Trev's pick:Minnesota

Steve Spurrier has the 'Cocks ready for their opener.

South Carolina (-7) at Mississipii Stae 8 EST (ESPN)
The Big 11 doubleheader only lasts so long before we add this matchup to the rotation. Gamecocks. Now that's a name a guy can get behind. Wait, that came out wrong. A litany of clever puns aside, Steven Spurrier takes MSU to the shed in typical early-season "I'm a genius!" fashion. Normally, a bulldog would rip a gamecock to shreds, but in this case the gamecock is some kind of Super Chicken with an extra crispy brain. I find it very hard to bet against the visor in this instance. Kicking off against "El Diablo" is only the beginning of a long season in Starkville. Trev's pick: Gamecocks

Trev Alberts is an experienced prognosticator. He thinks he can get ESPN 360 on his Xbox.