Get jacked for the season

By Jim Rome
ESPN.com

Hey kid, maybe when you're done pal-ing around with your fellow blog geeks, you can get back to fixing your freaking network. This blackout business is strictly amateur. I haven't been able to get the message out to the clones in days. What's the deal? Get it done. Oh, and I don't care how strung out you guys are over there either, you can't put my domination on hold. Rack me.

The season is fast approaching, clones. I've been preparing around the house here on the left coast by practicing my various vocal inflections while working in a new regimen of dramatic pauses. Brilliant. Love It. Football. It doesn't really carry over to the page, but just know that I'm burning on a whole new level out here. As I predicted, you computer types are cranking it up out there as well. The latest batch of fan previews is top-notch. If you can't get up for these clips, you don't have a pulse...or you hate nu-metal.....yes. See that? Good. Pause.

It's been flaoting around for a while now, but the Gamecocks set the tone with some nice classic Van Haggar.


Speeding it up a bit is the Florida Gators. Honestly guys, I'm proposing a 5-year ban on Drowning Pool highlights. I'm looking at you SEC.



Last and certainly not least, don't think I haven't seen this gem. Columbus. Seriously. Stop. It.



I've got nothing to work with here, people. We need to kick the tires on this season so we can get past all of this random speculation and move on to more important things like random expectations. Also, I'd like to see what happens when some hopes start getting dashed. That's when the real teeth come out.

Jim Rome is the host of "Rome is Burning." It is not nearly as entertaining as "Viking Challenge."