Broadband appeal

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

Apparently, CSTV has a website. On a professional level, I think that is awesome. Way to get with the interweb times and such. Personally, this really steams my potatoes. While the thought of my visage roaming the electronic airwaves to delight and bewilder countless adoring, hopefully female, fans is a tantalizing thought, I have to say this whole computer thing vexes me. Those suits better realize that the extent of my so-called techno savvy is limited to MACC's Oregon Trail.

Daybreak-We set a course for Oregon, hilarity ensued.

It has come to my attention that roughly 5% of the connected college football fanbase will not be able to access my internet analysis. If I could wager a guess to why this is, I think the network was gambling on a high correlation of Mac users and sports-hating sissies. This, combined with CSTV's relatively low television base, means that roughly 50,000 of you will have access to anything I do this season. Crystal Ball can be seen...um...sometime during the season, right after Big Ten Women's Water Polo and before 16 hours of Bowflex infomercials.

In the meantime, anyone holding me responsible may make an appointment with the kid, and we can schedule those groin kicks at my earliest convenience.

Trev Alberts is a little-known CSTV correspondent. He can carry more than 100 pounds of meat.