NCAA 2008: An Early Treatise (with hobos)

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

First impressions are in, and my original conclusion is that this wonderful edition of the game shall cause us all to lose our livelihoods. Rejoice and be glad, noble Trevians, soon we shall all be riding the rails, Xbox bindles in hand, and hurtling towards the inevitable hobo quickening, that time when all the worlds hobos assemble to do battle in this great electronic gladiation of metal and brawn.

Basic Gameplay:
First things first, how does it play? Without saying, the obvious graphical upgrades pop off the screen in glorious HD. Should you have the means, I highly recommend it. From that certain sheen of new unis, to the gradual wear and tear of an oft-visited endzone, the details are wonderful. While I've yet to commit to whether the game lends itself more to the ground or air battling, upgrades in animations and "feel" are going to change how we play the game. Long gone are superman dives and arm-tackles. You have to take it on, make real commitments on defense, or you will become as House Rock Built will note "dicked."

Overall, bound to cause many many nights of wholesome entertainment, symbolized by e-hobo.com's hobo #690 Chiptooth Berman, the Bottle Biter.


Dynasty:
1a to playing your buddies over a round of brew-dizzles or the internet is Dynasty mode. This year's version can only be described as "Excessive Compulsive." The in-season recruiting board has now expanded to 35 players as well as 20 separate "pitches" and promises your coach can make to seal the deal. Keep your word, integrity ratings increase. Don't? It catches up to you, kind of like Houston Nutt. I would have liked to see scheduling contracts and neutral site games, but that would involve a whole other layer of Athletic Dept. simming, but I don't think the world is ready for that obsession in EA form.

A stalwart of the series remains unblemished, and now we can recruit Canada!
Bring in #71, Canadian Football League Pete!


Create-a-player/Campus Legend:
Speaking of Canada, the robust player creator allowed me to place myself, and my 80 pts of calf development, into the Canadian HS playoffs, working hard for my dreams to play in the Americas. As a young whippersnapping scrambling QB in Chambly, Montreal, I must play 4 games at storied "High School Stadium" against Canada's finest prep schools. The biggest twist to legend mode this year, and dynasty for that matter, is the Super Sim. In Campus Legend, you ONLY control plays you are in on. Repeat. That's it. You don't call the plays, you don't play both ways, you sim to the next time you get to touch the ball, and then, only control yourself. A bold decision that may define the mode, if I must say. Whatever, Trev QB #8 is doing his best impression of the Sex Cannon, audibling, effing it, and going deep, son.

We're going deep. Hobo #189: Skywise, the Sexual Elf.

Xbox Live Multiplayer:
Last but not least, the omega of any EA yearly sports title, the online play. Wrapped seamlessly into the games menus, theres no need to log in to servers or crap as long as your connected to Live. Quick matches and custom setups are easy to get going, but stay the hell away from the lobbies. I love the 1337 speek as much as the next guy, but not....thi....s......sloww........here's hoping its just opening day jamming, and I'll be back to pwning in no time.

Last but not least, that worldly archetype of the hobos, #171 Twink, the Reading-Room Snoozer


Trev Alberts is a former Nebraska Cornhusker. He is currently playing HS football in the hobo-free woods of upper Canadia.