A Very Prussian Independence Day

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

This is a cause for celebration! As you may already know, the Trev engine does not run on pure Alberts fuel alone. Many things, the least of which being consumable, non-consumable, and probably toxic substances, are the metaphorical coal shoveled by imaginary sailors managing the fictional furnace of my soul. Today, I am pleased to announce to the world, the discovery of a new combustable that I am sure will stir men's souls much as it is stirring mine. Gentlemen, I give you Barenjager!

Just marvel as it glistens in the in the light. It's viscous honey liqueur is a wonderful dose of medieval mead, and 70 proof to boot! 15th century fermentation, huzzah! Huzzah, I say! Loosely translated, Barenjager is "Das Baernhunten", "Der Baerhuntarr," or the anglo "Bear-hunter." All I know is, this stuff is honey based karaoke fuel! Phenomenal! (Boilerplate disclaimer here: enjoy all liquors, exotic and domestic, responsibly. At least more responsibly that Mr. Alberts-IO)

I feel like writing a sonnet, or a limerick, or whatever the hell those renaissance types did to pass the time between drinking festivals. A whole new Jager! It's like I've discovered some lost continent or something where we all wear shoes on our hands and hamburgers eat people! You there! Man on the street! What day is it? WHAT YEAR IS IT! Drinking Baerhunter is like traveling through time at the speed of regular time. But, more importantly, it raises the question, are there more varieties of Jager out there? It's like alcoholic Pokemans or something. I must drink them all if these two German cousins are so tastefully delicious.

Not to mention the other nickname, The Baron. This stuff should be imbibed in a snifter while wearing a monocle with a name conjuring up images like that. Flying around in dirigibles and whatnot. Fanciful indeed!

Trev Alberts is a former ESPN commentator. He moonlights as a Jager sommelier.