Hook 'Em Horns

By Muppet Newscaster
ESPN News

The new year is barely a day old, not a snap of official football has been played, but the Big XII fans are in mid-season form. Allowing ourselves to sit back and take in the splendor of this news story, we allow the headline to speak for itself, excerpt to follow:

Church Deacon, OU Fan Tears Scrotum Of UT Fan In Bar Fight
(HT: Uncle Smooth and NBC5i.com)

A couple of months before the annual Red River Shootout between the Sooners and Longhorns, words were exchanged at Henry Hudson's Pub between Allen Beckett, 53, and Brian Thomas. Witnesses said it was because Thomas was wearing a UT T-shirt. Neither Thomas or Beckett chose to comment, but the police report described what happened to the victim, including graphic details about his injuries that included a torn scrotal sack with partially exposed testicles.

We close this news bulletin with the obligatory "Ode to a Nut Shot."



Muppet Newscaster has returned from hiatus. He is still hiding from the legitimate media.