Week 12 Bloo-poll!

By Blooregard Q. Kazoo
Staff Figment

I'm free! Ahahahahahaha! My brilliant plan of distracting Trev and the kid with alcohol and Xbox has worked to perfection. Now its time for some imaginary fun with your old buddy Bloo. Let's see what's on the docket today....mock naval battles, no.....lighting things on fire....no.....hmm...what the heck is on this darn to do list. Week 12 Blogpoll....and.....that's it?! Where's the whimsy? Where's the fun? Where's the unjustified hate of popular college football figures? And where are the Kitten Civil War reenactments?

Oh well, I guess if this is all we've got then it will have to do. But, I'm warning all of you, this is MY Blogpoll, my BLOO-poll, so I don't want to hear any cry babies going on and on and on about how theyre favorite team got the boot, or that I'm not respecting their school enough....blah blah blah. Boring! We're going to do this my way, and its going to be pretty darn clear who's in charge this week.....

Week 12 Bloopoll

1. Kansas
2. Oklahoma
3. Missouri
4. Louisiana State
5. West Virginia
   
6. Oregon
7. Arizona State
8. Southern Cal
9. Virginia Tech
10. Boise State
    
11. Ohio State
12. Hawaii
13. Clemson
    
14. Georgia
15. Florida
16. Illinois
17. Tennessee
18. Virginia
19. Texas
    
20. Kentucky
21. Cincinnati
22. Connecticut
23. Wisconsin
24. Auburn
25. Duke!

Ta Da! It would almost make a little bit of sense if I had any sense. Whoo!! Look at that lineup! What a great way to talk about this crazy season. I'm sure there's a bunch of people who would like this year to be imaginary, but this is the best we can do. Up is down, down is up, and we're all twirling, twirling!, towards the splendid bowl season. I cant wait to see some of these perfectly normal teams playing northern bowl games weeks before Xmas! Hahahahaha!

Let's get to the method of my madness:

The top 5: Kansas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Louisiana State, West Virginia
There's at least some kind of logic, albeit twisted right here at the top. First things first, the Jayhawks have pretty colors, an even prettier record, and the coolest fat man this side of Santa Claus. He is just resplendent, isn't he? Mangino in a track suit kind of looks like that Violet Bouregard gal in Willy Wonka. Amazing. They didn't lose to Colorado, so Oklahoma has to take a back seat, but they beat Missouri, so that explains that. The Big XII might actually be in the drivers seat for once. Louisiana State comes in after that knot, as the chainsaw is still so much fun to write about. West Virginia didn't have their schedule, but who doesn't like a good knifewrench? KNIFEWRENCH!

The next 5: Oregon, Arizona State, Southern Cal, Virginia Tech, Boise State
Now we start getting un-rational. Oregon is fun to watch, but they ain't a knifewrench, sorry guys. I hope the sweet uniforms get you some points in the real polls. Arizona State is up here as they are a staple Xbox team in the office....we don't know why....Southern Cal comes so lamely predictably at 8, but only because I can't really drop them much further. Besides, extra points for NCAA infractions! RUMOR MONGERING! YAY!!!!!!! VT had a tough go this year, so its hard to drop them any further either....I mean, they lost to the chainsaw and that ridiculous Matt Ryan business. Boise State, my boys, round out the top ten. Sure, they lost to the vicious animals, but they are still super awesome and might get to play a concussed Colt Brennan!

The middle 10: Ohio State, Hawaii, Clemson, Georgia, Florida, Illinois, Tennessee, Virginia, Texas, Kentucky
Alrighty, Ohio State falls here because I don't like them. There, I said it! It's my poll and I can do what I want. You lose to redacted, you get the horns. Hawaii comes in behind my Broncos because I don't like them.....no one cares? Moving on. Clemson is head and speedy shoulders above the rest of these speedy teams because there's nothing we like more than fluky ACC teams with blue as a secondary color...or is it purple....now even I'm confused. Next, we rank the orange teams, Florida, Illinois, Tennessee, Virginia, and Texas, also in order of how awesome I think they are. Illinois gets extra points for kicking out the Buckeyes, Texas gets knocked back for not impressing me ever. Kentucky rounds out the end because I enjoy their jerseys, their offensive fireworks, and would draft them all in fantasy if I had a legitimate pool.

The last 5: Cincinnati, UCONN, Wisconsin, Auburn, Duke
Cincinnati and UCONN are practically the same team. If I offered them both ice cream, they'd both say yes, so let's not split hairs here. Wisconsin gets major props for defeating my most hated of the blue, non-bloo, family of teams, the smelly smelly skunkbears. Auburn sneaks into the rear because they can win the big game. Finally, rounding out the crazy, I give 1 vote to Duke! Don't act so shocked.

The mysterious remains: Brigham Young, South Florida, Air Force
Mormons! Bulls! Flying Zamboni Squadrons! Er....Falcons! Why not? These teams are so cool....do I have to explain myself? Crazy offense, hand signals \m/ , and the entire freaking Air Force!

Bloo is FireMarkMay.com's official figment. He is currently having tea and cake with the Vicar of Imaginationland.