Week 14 Trevonics: Championosity

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

Oh for Pete's sake! Is this season over yet? There has been so much craziness, so much sheer ridiculousness, I mean Missouri, MISSOURI!, of all people, are number 1, that the Trev has just had too much awesome overloading his Trev circuits. Its almost too much for anyone to bear, and admittedly, I have been in an extended weakened state due to the excessive drinking that accompanies said understanding of the 2007 season. So, without further excusing, procrastinating, or superfluosity, the scoreboard entering the homestretch!

Week 13 Results:
Against the Spread: 10-5
Straight Up: 9-6

Season to date:
Against the Spread: 96-102-3
Straight Up: 138-61

The dream of being somewhat respectable against the demon spread is still within reach for me, loyal Trevians. With a good showing in this championship weekend, I can claim at least parity with the foul German gamblers and declare moral victory in the face of such incredulous results. I'm going to save the Trev-polls for when the dust settles, but its pretty much academic in certain regards. Missouri wins and theyre in. Same for West Virginia. After that? Well, we might just have to consult our long lost ne'er do well to fill us in on his secret dastardly plans.

Virginia Tech (-7) over Boston College
The glorious ACC title game in sunny Jacksonville County! Scenic vistas, hard fought football, and plentiful cabs, all huddled around a vibrant urban nightlife! Not one thing I have said those two sentences is the least bit true. I. Effing. Hate. Jacksonville. The lazy bastards couldn't even name their individual towns and cities. Yes, I know thats a copout excuse, but I can't think of any good reason to defend this "largest city." VT over BC in a walk, once again embarrassing the ACC in what I hope will traditionally become the "forgotten" title game.
Trev's pick: Virginia Tech

Louisiana State (-7.5) over Tennessee
Behold, the last ride of Les Miles and his immortal chainsaw. I'm not adding to the speculation of his participation in the always twirling SEC coaching carousel, but this may very well be the last we see of the werewolf geauxrilla lacerating hybrid that are the LSU Tigers, at least in a meaningful game. The so-called Super Bowl of The Southland, so-called by the Me, is going to be rough, its going to be tough, but its not going to be close. LSU is going to be in "go big or go home" mode attempting to 2-loss their way into the title game by brute force. This reduces the chance of this game being decided on a last minute field goal, and more likely by multiple scores.
Trev's pick: Louisiana State

UCLA (+20) over Southern Cal
I know. I know. I KNOW! UCLA is just absolutely horrible. I really can't argue anyway around it, as their only memorable games are beating a hobbled Oregon and losing to Notre Dame. However, the state of college football at this moment has allowed this game to determine the PAC-10 champion. Granted, the Bruins don't control their own destiny, but they wear the underdog hat so well, especially against the Trojans, that this game is going to be closer than most think. The Trojan Horde offense may be once again fully operational, but I can't discount the Dorrell shoulder chip. I won't split the pick on the merit of the chaos this game could cause.
Trev's pick: UCLA

Oregon State (even) over Oregon
Oregon is a broken team. They are physically broken in the matter of Mr. Dixon's leg, and spiritually broken that now that they have a Pac-10 Leaf brother under center. Although Brady Leaf probably isn't getting 100% of the snaps, and why should he, his mere presence on the two-deep casts a deathly pallor on the proceedings. Where once this game would have been Ducks -14.5, now we have the Pacific Northwest's Civil War at a pick 'em. This is our season, Go Beavers!
Trev's pick: Oregon State

West Virginia (-28.5) over Pittsburgh
I will only say this to the scrappy Mountaineers: this line is more than about covering. This line is the bar to the national title game. If you cannot clear this bar, WfnVU, you open the door to all kinds of shenanigans Sunday morning, and I don't just mean the activities or your average post game holding cell. Take care of business, and there are no excuses. Slit the Wannstache's throat, spread option style.
Trev's pick: West Virginia

Oklahoma (-3) over Missouri
You may even want to chalk this one up as a reverse jinx, as earlier in the season, Missouri looked like they could run right along side the Sooner Schooner. A few bad bounces either way, and the Sooners might not have been even in this game, let alone the national title discussion. Not so fast my friends, the Tigers still play in the North, so that marks them for a blowout of Big XII Title proportions. Doing my best Bill Swerski impression, Sooners 385-Tigers tree.
Trev's pick: Oklahoma

Arizona State (-7) over Arizona
Ladies and gentlemen, your potential PAC-10 champions, the Arizona State Sun Devils! Volcano golfcarts for all! Hail Satan! If ASU can take care of business and UCLA pulls the improbable once more, the Best Ever Death Metal Band out of Tempe is headed to Pasadena. They get the pick just on that merit, and all of the Erickson stories Ill get to watch for the next month. Hail Satan!
Trev's pick: Arizona State

Hawaii (-14.5) over Washington
The Vicious Animals get a psuedo-bowl game against the Warriors....and that's about all there is to that. Has there ever been 3000 yards of total offense in a single game?
Trev's pick: Hawaii

Trev Alberts is a former ESPN commentator. He regrets nothing.