Molders of Men: Tyrone Willingham

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

Criminy! All day! Everyday, with this "Bear Down" business! Kid, you get that memo I sent you? BEARS! Did you wash Bloo's rain slicker? BEARS! Kid, go to the Krispy Kreme! BEARS! He's slipped into his fake Chicago accent and sworn to fast until the Super Bowl. Remarkable. I've got a site to not run here! Who's going to do it? You, Johnny 5? You, muppet guy who's name I forget? NO! Trev's gotta keep the Trev ship running, slowly but semi-surely! You can do this, Alberts!

*UPDATE: This was supposed to go up yesterday, but I don't know what I'm doing. I think I broke the internets!

Name: Lionel Tyrone Willingham

Known aliases: Ty, Chauncey Gardiner, @#$@%!-ing Ty!

Current position: Head Coach, University of Washington 2005-Present


Previous notable position(s):
Head Coach, University of Notre Dame 2002-2004
Head Coach, Stanford University 1995-2001


Hobbies: Golf, driving range practice, miniature golf, cutting 5th year seniors

Current hoopty: Standard Club Cart for discreet traveling, definitely not as flashy as [name redacted].


Playing Style: Undetermined until offense is installed. This process usually takes 4 years, so it should remain a mystery. Coach Ty has also outlined several goals for his program:

"My goals for this program are to be a championship football team," he said. "I expect them to do all the things necessary to be a champion. That includes the weight room, film study, classroom, all these things.

"I want them to be the best they can be. I want them to be championship people, and I want these young men to have fun the right way."

Playing Time?: Like the playbook, any determined roster remains a mystery, but considering his trademark lack of roster depth, there is always room for scads of walk-ons and transfers. Having 15 players at one position and 4 at another is also a very real possibility.

Coaching Style: Cool, calm, collected. Ty reacts to all game situations, from throwing into triple coverage to busted screens, with the same courageous stoicism.

Recruiting philosophy: I'd say any where from +3 to scratch depending on the course.



Trev Alberts is an analyst for CSTV. He is currently having his internet tubes fixed.