Week 3 Trevonics

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

After dragging down the site's resources for just under a week in preparation for college football's latest armageddon-tastic weekend, I have emerged from my corner office with its various caffinated accouterments to lay unto you these picks of wisdom. Like Moses coming off the whatsit with his Old Testament book of Numbers, I bring the answers to this, the heartiest of all football weekends...to date. BEHOLD! MY SCOREBOARD!

Year-to-Date-
Straight Up:15-2
Against the Spread:11-6

LSU (+3) at Auburn 330et (CBS)
Considering every big SEC game comes down to about 3 points, I'm going have to pick the Tigers shutting down the Tigers potent running attack and continuing to play the Tigers' traditional style of smashmouth Tiger football. Les Miles gets the coaching edge in this matchup, as he has Voldemort on his side.
Trev's pick: LSU

Louisville (-4) vs. Miami 330et (ABC)
I am thoroughly enjoying the eventual downgrading of Miami. Eventually, it will be considered couth to refer to them as the Miami Tropical Storms. I'm trying to get that started, so hop on now and get ahead of the curve. Regardless, no one is questioning the Miami defense, but you have to say Louisville's attack is a bit more potent than Florida State, what with the multiple formations and all. I'll say the Vespa Scooter wins by at least a touchdown.
Trev's pick: Louisville

Oregon (-4.5) vs. Oklahoma 330et (ABC)
OREGON IS THE NEW CAL! The Rollerballers will take Oklahoma to task at Autzen on sheer intimidation. They have over 300 different uniforms combinations! Try to keep track of them all, I dare you. They will blind the Sooners with their glamour, their prefectly balanced attack, and containment of Adrian Peterson. Belotti is smart enough to put a body on Adrian, limiting him to oh...200 yards...but pass at your own peril. The man is a genius...he has his own font...
Trev's pick: Oregon

Notre Dame (-5) vs. Michigan 330et
Once again, the kid's favorite obsession must take a back seat to the bigger picture of the greatness of this football weekend. I'm calling this game now, and I'm calling it early. This will not be a close game, as would be traditionally predicted. Lloyd Carr, or LLLoyd Carr depending on which interweb sites you frequent, is 0-3 at Notre Dame and is bound to bring his expected uber-conservatism to what will likely be a tough crowd. Hell, they could play this game in an abandoned warehouse and he'll get rattled. I know I would be. On a side note, this Kool-Aid the kid keeps putting in the break room is delicious!
Trev's pick: Notre Dame

TCU (+1.5) vs. Texas Tech 330et (CSTV)
It's about time we got some semblance of a real game on this fly-by-night network of mine. I love watching Mountain West games as much as the next guy with nothing better to do on a Friday night, but this game is a definite step up. Unfortunately for Texas Tech and Leach's brand of merry pirates, I don't know if the Air Raid offense will hold up under the new clock rules. It will be hard to beat the Horned Frogs when you only have the ball for 10 minutes.
Trev's Pick:TCU

Southern Cal (-17.5) vs. Nebraska 800et (ABC)
ESPN's former gentleman lover is going to take it to my boys from Lincoln. I mean hard. I mean relentless. It's going to look like a snuff film. Callahan, you may be on your way to some restoring some order out there, and we'll see you sacrifice your share of teams to the Big XII Championship Gods, but I wouldn't get my hopes up. The Trojans have a team of lawyers in town devising a game plan against your noble squad...or at least I think that's what they're in town for.
Trev's pick: Southern Cal

Florida (-3.5) at Tennessee 800et (CBS)
Finally, this donnybrook in the heart of Hazzard county is a matchup of two teams searching for their first signature win of the season. I was ready to annoint Coach Cutliffe resident sooper genius of the Southland until the Vols had problems putting away Air Force. I guess maybe I should blame the defense. Hmm...can't handle crazy running schemes? Urban Meyer, come on down!
Trav's pick: Florida

Sorry for the last post and lack of audio visual aid. The kid has already skipped town for the ND-Michigan, so I'm pretty much on my lonesome again this weekend. Alright, interns...fire up the sportsbook!

Trev Alberts is a former ESPN coathanger. He is currently reloading his compu-bookie