Dept. of Rumor and Innuendo: Lloyd Carr out?

By Blooregard Q. Kazoo
Staff Figment

In between marathon sessions of NCAA (Cornell-Hofstra, SLAUGHTER!), 72-hour social drinking adventures, the Senior Bowl, and the desperational viewing of actual NBA and NHL regular season games, I'd say it was a full weekend here at the compound. Not enough to sate my crippling ADD and ADHD, mind you, but enough to keep me going between sugar-filled binges and death-defying, near-diabetic crashes. Thanks to modern advances in Japanese Super Happy Ancestral Power go Wisdom Drink Yankee Cola!, I'm the first one up and about in the office today, and considering I've procrastinated long and hard for too far long, I decided to roll up my sleeves, get a post in, type a few run-on sentences, and coast until our inevitable recruiting day crunch.

Luckily, a juicy rumor based on a earlier juicy rumor surfaced today thanks to The Wizard of Odds. Apparently, our lovable droopy dog up there coaching the Canada's Alabama Wolverines, Lloyd Carr, may or may not, or possibly will be, headed towards the old dusty trail of a cozy desk job at the end of the season. While that may make some of his detractors rejoice in song and other poncey celebrations of gaiety, I, for one am a little, well, blue about it all. Consider, for a moment, the comedy gold that will forever be relegated to joke about athletic department foibles, olympic sports hirings, revenue streams, and whatnot.

Sigh... I guess it's just going to have to be more of this.

Bloo is FireMarkMay's resident imaginary friend and social director. He instituted Margarita Fridays.