Week 2 Trevonics: 9-9 is not good enough

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

Rich creamery butter. You know, this is what I hate this early in the season, with all the cupcakes and cream puffery abounding in the non-conference schedules, we get like 1 top 25 matchup. Hell, Louisville even snuck in a game on Thursday night. Where the heck did that come from? It's not in the pick 'em, it's not in the Trevonics, so let's get on with it. Bring in the scoreboard:

2007 Season-to-date:
Against the Spread: 9-9
Straight up: 14-4

Definitely not up to my lofty standard of Trevtastic excellence, but how about that straight up? I sure can pick these opening season tuneups, eh comrades?

(Disclaimer: Lines for entertainment purposes only. Lines and picks are not guaranteed to be Mr. Alberts' actual Pick 'em selections-IO)

Navy (+16.5) over Rutgers (9/7 700et ESPN)
Ray Rice looks more and more like video game Ray Rice, but no matter. I'm rooting for America. If you root for Rutgers, you hate America. There, I said it. The line feels inflated, and I'm crazy enough to think Navy can flex bone their way to victory.
Trev's pick: Navy

West Virginia (-24) at Marshall (1110et ESPN2)
I don't care about the hatred, or the home field. This is still West effing Virginia.
Trev's pick: WVU

Nebraska (-8) at Wake Forest (1200et ESPN)
A real test for Wake Forest's so-called vaunted defense. That's what they do well over there now, right? Callahan, listen to me. You've got them outgunned. Don't screw it up. Get it done, 'Huskers.
Trev's pick: Nebraska

Oklahoma (-10.5) over Miami of Florida (1200et ABC)
It's a show-me situation on both sides of the ball. Oklahoma is Superteam (tm) until proven otherwise, cupcakes or not, and Miami refrains from being referred to as The U until they play like it. Now would be a good time, but I think its a matter of organization. Oklahoma looks ready to run like a machine once again, and Miami of Florida has me guessing they're not gonna be there yet.
Trev's pick: Oklahoma

Ohio State (-28.5) over Akron (1200et Big Ten Network)
Calling this an in-state rivalry (just like Youngstown State!) is like putting perfume on a pig. In this case, it's mascara on a kangaroo. I think that's what they're calling a Zip these days. If they're not, they used to, and if I'm wrong on both counts, they totally should. I'd be lying if I wasn't pulling for an upset, but at least it would be of the I-A variety. I think we would all love a "Curse of the Big Ten Network."
Trev's pick: Akron

Clemson (-27) over Louisiana Monroe (100et)
This one used to be off the board, but if they're going to let me lay 27, let's roll.
Trev's pick: Clemson

California (-14) at Colorado State (200et)
I'm kind of worried for the always fun letdown trap game, but I don't think the Rams are good enough to pull this off, even at home in thin air. You run faster in thin air, right?
Trev's pick: California

Boise State (-3) at Washington (330et)
Holy hell. You beat Syracuse by a billion, and you get a respectable line against the Broncos at home. I can't believe Boise State is this underrated.
Trev's pick: Boise State

Texas A&M (-17.5) over Fresno State (330et)
The Aggies are striking me like they could grind Fresno State into submission. They might win by exactly 17, but I'm ready to take that chance.
Trev's pick: Texas A&M

Georgia (-4) over South Carolina (545et ESPN2)
This one hurts me, it really does. I'm ready to ride the visor to hell, but I got burned by dissing UGA for no good reason. Maybe this is me seeing the light, maybe its my attempt at a jinx, who knows. What I do know is that I know nothing. Trevonics at its finest. The Trev reserves the right to change his mind whenever the hell he pleases without warning or cause.
Trev's pick: Georgia

Florida (-26.5) over Troy (600et)
I really want to split the pick here as Troy gave Arkansas a decent game last week. By decent, I mean covered. Maybe if they play a real offense, we'll get a more accurate read on Troy's D...so probably next week. Meanwhile, there's the chance the Gators pitch the shutout.
Trev's pick: Florida

UCLA (-7.5) over BYU (630et)
Hahahaha! Wait....really? No. BYU, not that much better than Stanford. Sorry guys, but I just can't figure out how we got to this point. I know Stanford is bad, and BYU looked good against Arizona, but really??? Perhaps I'm too high on the Bruins, I have to think they're at least 10 points better.
Trev's pick: UCLA

Tennessee (-10.5) over Southern Mississippi (700et)
There's the chance that it's the Vols who might get the cross-country letdown coming back from Cal, and if this were a road game, I might have been compelled to go the other way on this. Neyland for teh winz.
Trev's pick: Tennessee

TCU (+9) over Texas (700et)
Remember tat whole spiel about organization? Here it is again. Texas and Colt McCoy are already in psuedo-panic mode, and while they have the talent edge, and an arguable coaching edge, TCU does what they do well. I'm looking for a mistake-free game from the Horned Frogs, just enough to hold on to the win if Texas rights their ship sometime this week.
Trev's pick: TCU

Hawaii (-27.5) over Louisiana Tech (700et)
They might cover this in the first quarter.
Trev's pick: Hawaii

South Florida (+7) at Auburn (900et ESPN2)
The other pick I'm riding straight to hell. All hail Phil Steele when this pick comes in. Let me ask you this, Trevians: Is KState that much better than USF? I don't think so. Take the points, and yes, I think USF pulls off the upset. Again, I'm waiting for Auburn to show me what the hell I'm supposed to think about them.
Trev's pick: South Florida

Louisiana State (-12.5) over Virginia Tech (915et ESPN)
Alright, I was all ready to go for the squishy pick once again. Oh, how great would it be for Virginia Tech to win this game! If you hate VT, you hate America....and so forth....well the Deep South Voodoo does not care for your feel good story, Hokies. They are here to hurt you, physically, in football. I'm also putting money on something completely inappropriate happening that will make a good number of people ask "too soon?" Back to the football, the Tigers may not have shown much against MissSt, but VT showed even less against ECU. Oh...and this game starts at 8pm local time. Does Baton Rouge have a courthouse at the stadium?
Trev's pick

Wisconsin (-25.5) at UNLV (1000et)
Unless the Badgers spend all day at Bill's Gambling Saloon formerly known as the Barbary Coast, UNLV is definitely not this good.
Trev's pick: Wisconsin

Notre Dame (+17.5) at Penn State (600et ESPN)
Lastly, we come to the great mystery that is the Fighting Irish. Remember what I said about the kid drawing spirals on the office furniture? Well, its definitely happening. He's actually starting to believe that his mancrushes Weis and Jimmy have a secret upset lined up for this week after that display of non-football last Saturday. That would be one wicked improvement from week 1. Anthony Morelli can throw a football over them mountains. Coach gonna put him in, they gonna win state. Let's go nuts and say the line's too high. Split pick?
Trev's pick: Notre Dame to cover, Penn State to win

Trev Alberts is a former member of ESPN Gameday. His drinking is very organized.