Unified Scene

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

It's been a long time coming for something like this, and I can't say the Trev is all too surprised or all too pleased to see it go down like this. Well, I guess it could be all for the best as I'm left to stew here in my own private intertubes, continuing to fight the good fight against whatever the hell it is I feel like fighting today. What can I say? I'm a very angry Trev, but I am also a loving and compassionate Trev. So with this, I tell my young apprentice to go forth and do whatever the heck his flights of fancy send him off to. It will all be over soon, I know The Kid. He'll be all committed and "yes, sir Mr. Alberts" for like a month and a half, next thing you know he's looking up how e can make moeny at home by raising endangered alpacas or some crazy shit like that. The internet will set him free, if he could only sack up and take the plunge.

So good riddance I say! I'll build my own college football blogosphere with blackjack! and hookers! Well, maybe not the blackjack. Anyway, this whole crazy thing is going to keep on keeping on whether you all like it or not, but I'll have to say that the Fire Mark May crusade will be taking on a different form, the next book in the Gospel of the Trev I guess. A corporate merger of sorts with plenty of goodwill from our FightinAmish friend over at that House Rock Built. I seem to be losing my loyal sidekick and stenographer while he goes off an tries his hand at a new "joint" in the Spike Lee/Spike Jonze sense of the word.

Godspeed, kid. I will hunt you down like the wild dog you are and kill you in your sleep, but I mean that in the most respectful way. You all haven't heard the last of the Trev. I swear a binding blood oath to myself to make you rue this day. On my self, I swear it.

Ezekiel 28:15

I think its about time we let you all in on the horrifying truth. This charade has gone on too long, months even, with lackluster reporting from the compound. Bloo's figmentatious glee has fallen silent, the Muppets are gathering a fine layer of dust, and I can't remember the last time we sent out the interns for a real dose of mischief. This can all be explained, but I'm going to ask the few loyal Trevians we have left to take the closest seat for this one.

Our Leader has abandoned us.



The Trev, Il Duce Emeritus himself, has fallen like the Morningstar and chosen to wreck vengeance on our beloved blogosphere. Like a tired interwebs metaphor, he is hunting down the noble blogging order and striking them down in the name of the Evil Empire. None shall be spared his wrath, not even Master Swindle.

So, we have hidden in secret. Destroying our own traffic just to lay low in hopes that we may survive the carnage, and putting out only our weakest efforts when necessary to remind all that there is still hope. Rebel forces will once again have a voice in this cold and unyielding future, but until then, we proceed with caution.

Rumors of this site's demise have been greatly exaggerated. Until then, we lie in wait, remembering the good times.

This Year

I broke free on a Saturday morning
I put the pedal to the floor
headed north on mills avenue
and listened to the engine roar

my broken house behind me
and good things ahead
a girl named Cathy
wants a little of my time
six cylinders underneath the hood
crashing and kicking
aha!
listen to the engine whine

i am going to make it through this year
if it kills me
i am going to make it though this year
if it kills me

i played video games in a drunken haze
i was seventeen years young
hurt my knuckles punching the machines
the taste of scotch rich on my tongue

and then Cathy showed up
and we hung out
trading swigs from a bottle
all bitter and clean
locking eyes
holding hands
twin high maintenance machines

i am going to make it through this year
if it kills me
i am going to make it though this year
if it kills me

i drove home in the California dusk
i could feel the alcohol inside of me hum
pictured the look on my stepfather's face
ready for the bad things to come
i down shifted
as i pulled into the driveway
the motor screaming out
stuck in second gear
the scene ends badly
as you might imagine
in a cavalcade of anger and fear

there will be feasting and dancing
in Jerusalem next year

i am going to make it through this year
if it kills me
i am going to make it though this year
if it kills me

-irishoutsider

Bye Week

As if we weren't taking 15 consecutive breaks around here before, the Bye week for the Irish is an official holiday for all of us this season. So sayeth the me. Catch everyone after this weekend.

Mao! Boston College, Mao!

-irishoutsider

Trip Pictures: Buffering.......

It's going to take a while for all of these pictures to get uploaded...a lot of time. It has something to do with our media resources, and the interwebs as a whole. Of course, Trev and Bloo playing marathon sessions of Halo 3 and spilling grape soda on my computer aren't helping one bit.



Swindle may have posted the picture first, but it still came from the Trev Mobile 1.

Other highlights to come, including:

• Pirates
• Couches
• Road tripping
• Da Bearss
• The Swamp
• Drinking with Monkeys
• PUCKER!
• Truck sticks
• Eagles
• Eagles
• War Damn Eagles
• More Pirates
• and Foodball

Put up the horns for USF, this could take a while. Put 'em up! \m/

-irishoutsider

Lost, but still, we ride

A little more than 24 hours ago, this plan was only that, a plan.

Now? Well, now we have ourselves a crazy scheme that could only come from the mind of the Trev.

West Virginia at South Florida
Auburn at Florida

Two games, two days, lots of Florida.

Riding, and riding,
We search across the land.
The snow, and wind,
Has frozen hearts of man,

But we ride,
We ride.

Many days ago,
We left our home,
With swords we ride into the night.

Fighting side by side,
To destroy our foes
And beat them with our life.

We stop, consider,
The land that we travel.
Our maps, at home,
Direction, unraveled,

But we ride,
We ride.


Don't burn the compound to the ground. I'll be back to see how many games were wronged by Trev on Sunday.

-irishoutsider

The Most Brutal Post Ever

The A/V equipment is back up and running, but we're too distracted by Halo and Dethklok to cover anything. Our bad. Last weekend recap and Trevonics to come.



-irishotusider

It's a Do Over....except for you, Michigan.

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

Well the kid has finally worked out the kinks in the new office pool, and I've also finally remembered to start one up. Good on me for my timeliness, because last week's business was both fake and very, very real.

Cutting to the chase, I invite, nay, challenge all of you, more accurately the next 48 of you, to take me on in a competition of college confidencery! Do you has what it takes?! All your picks belong to the Trev! Standard Trevonics rates do not apply. Here's the kid with the finer points of these internet tubes:

Yahoo! memberships are required, and the group holds 50 people. If we get that high, hooray for everything, but you don't get in, you have only yourself to blame. We admittedly dropped the ball last week in getting the word out, but whatever, our bad.

Official rules:
Confidence scoring. More points=more confidence.
You have 5 minutes before this weeks Friday night matchup to set your picks.
We'll drop the lowest 2 scores, this is mainly to wipe out Mr. Alberts' current 110 point lead for cheating last weekend.
The phony wagerer with the most points at the end of the season will win a nominal prize to be determined.

Group ID#: 22011
password: trev

Click here to log into the FireMarkMay confidence pool. All hail Lord Gamblor!


Trev Alberts is a former ESPN guessing guy. He will crush you in his neon grip.

Posted with comment

We try to keep our soapbox locked securely in Trev's office, as he tends to use it only for imaginary soapbox derbies and as a dais for the occasional stuffed animal military rally. However, I feel that from time to time I need to borrow it from under the nose of Bloo's bedazzling arts and crafts time to say a few words about my beloved Fighting Irish. I feel that its use in such ludicrous circumstances is warranted.

Kevin White, Athletic Director of the University of Notre Dame, continues to embarrass the storied tradition of Notre Dame Football until it is nothing more than a glorified traveling circus. There is no substance to his recent actions, from corporate sellouts to jumbotron inquiries to playing Wazzou in the middle of Texas, other than sheer revenue-whoring. This practice should be considered an insult to every Irish fan, pure exploitation of our football history.

More learned Notre Dame enthusiasts have carefully constructed this argument much better than myself, so I will direct you to the fine people at ND Nation and Blue Gray Sky to learn more.

That said, all future references to Mr. White's hair-brained schemes shall be made under the assumption that he is, in fact, flash-toon pioneer, Homestar Runner.

Notre Dame AD Kevin White, sponsored by Adidas.

For further review, I present the classic short "Thing in a Bag" as a metaphor for Kevin White's savvy negotiating of the college football landscape.

*Update-We've pushed the flash movie off of the site. You can still watch it at Homestarrunner.com at this link.

Thank you for your time. We now return to our regularly scheduled general referencing and ramblings.

-irishoutsider

MGoBlog predicts Blisstonia for 2007 Irish

Brian of MGoBlog fame has made a rather apt comparison in his responses to our bootleg roundtable:

"Notre Dame fans could, with only a little prodding, end up building Charlie Weis a spaceship so he can fly them to salvation."

Charlie Weis, ND's own Robot Genius, the center of Robot Catholicism, the rock that the molder rejected, does bear a striking resembelance to The Simpsons' cult leader, The Leader, of the Movementarians. We Fark, You Decide.


-irishoutsider

Roll Trev Roll!

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

The glory of Trev knows no bounds, interweb! In just a scant 14 months, we've hit six figures on the odometer! Hell to the yes! Hell yes, I say! 100,000 visitors to this monument to college football, me, Sparks malt beverage, Kool-Aid, me, Epcot, and more college football!

I have to give thanks to the blogging community at large, you all know who you are. But, more importantly, you all know who I am. Every cult following needs a cult leader, so thank you for letting me be your High Holy Grand Wizard of the 33rd Level of the Trev. Furthermore, this site would be nothing without the painstaking care, maintenance, and sobering presence of the kid. The next time I throw a whiskey bottle at your head, Irish, I'll try to miss, but just the one time.

Lastly, most recent handslapping goes to the fine, fine fans of the Alabama Crimson Tide. What can I say? It was just a random rundown in the middle of June, but thanks for believing in me. Basically, I just wanted an excuse to post this. Enjoy.



Trev Alberts is an honorary merchant marine. He knows that the Kirby Silver Surfer is the only true Surfer.

Playing with Fire: Feedburning

I know how much technology frightens and confuses Mr. Alberts, but I think its time we step up the game a little bit to play like the cool kids. The first major changes to the site are all about spreading the Gospel of Trev to the far reaches of the intertubes. We've added a few new features that will help get the site into the blogreaders, social networkings, and a whole bunch of other stuff that I don't have half a clue about, but the young people seem to be into these days.

Every post now has links to Digg, Facebook, and del.icio.us for those kind of things. If you're into that sort of scene, that is. I'm not, but I've heard good things.

Also, apparently some people like to keep all of their favorite blogs in a kind of reader or whatever. Personally, I just kind of bookmark stuff, but I'm not cool. Anyway, Feedburner is hosting this site for a number of services including Google, Yahoo!, Newsgator, and a bunch of other really cool Web 2.0 type gadgets. The sidebar will have the red Feedburner counter, and each post will have a handy "subscribe" link that does the same things.

Now, to keep the staff sober long enough to keep the content rolling. They're digging through the old Bartender's Guide in the break room. The Horse's Necks are flowing like...Horse's Necks.

-irishoutsider

The end of our national nightmare is near

The unofficial end to the site's official offseason should arrive sometime this weekend. I'm heading up to Canada to extradite Mr. Alberts and bring him back home to face his responsibilities while hiding him from his creditors. I know at least five of you are clamoring for more FireMarkMay action, but I prefer you blame Canada.



Catch everyone next week for our glorious one-year anniversary. The power of Trev compels you.

-irishoutsider

Trev is risen!

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

Behold and be glad! Trev has risen from his witner slumber slash hangover! Celebrating the new spring season with sub-zero baseball and a two-state doubleheader, FireMarkMay.com is back on track for a new, fun-filled scrimmage season.

I'll have the kid post pictures from the field as soon as we defrost the Trev Mobile 1. This could take a while, but don't despair. Know that I have returned unto you to usher in this brave new season of mindless rumormongering, depth-chart engineering, and baseless internet accusations!

What a time to be alive.

-Trev Alberts
Il Duce Emeritus, FireMarkMay.com

Step up to the Vike

We've decided to bridge the gap between the end of St. Patrick's month and the official start of spring practices with everyone's favorite off-season pastime: elective oral surgery! Our lackluster dental plan only covers the office if everyone goes under simultaneously, so I think it's pretty safe to say that the entire staff is on mental vacations right now except for Bloo. I imagine he feels like this all the time. Him and Brett Favre.

While it may not be burying hookers in the desert, it's still a nice change of pace.

-irishoutsider

Gone Drinkin'

Photo Courtesy of Steph Lehman Online


I feel this photo just about sums up the current state of our offseason here at the office. For those of you wondering, yes, Trev has just finished his mandatory community service, and we began relittering the highway as we headed along our merry way.

Truth be told, I didn't want to mix it up with these tourney types. The office's combined gambling addictions are too much for any one website. Just know that we're betting on everything, and I mean everything, and that when you hear an announcer making a basketball tournament double entendre, well sir, that's a drink.

Enjoy the high holiday responsibly and remember to tip your waitstaff kindly.

-irishoutsider

Allez le Trev!

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

Sorry for my relative laziness of late, fair followers, but between the snow and my patriotic zeal for our nation's Presidents' Day, I've completely lost track of time.
(That weekend long White Castle bender may have done something too.-IO)

Anyway, we're shutting down the office even more for the fearless editor's birthday festivities tonight. We've got Fat Tuesday AND birthday action prepared to fuel my various unnecessary largess! Cajun fried cajun cooking, the brownest of the brown liquors, and intoxicated video rugby action is on the preliminary agenda. You heard me. EA Rugby 06 dynasty....March can't get here soon enough. Maybe some sunlight will cure us of this temporary non-posting, real-life insanity!

We're running out of ideas here, people!

Trev Alberts is currently checking his Horoscope. He likes to take the best parts of each and write his own as all of his numbers are lucky.

Unfrozen Caveman Blogging

Global Warming our Trev-ridden hineys! First, offseason slowness business, and now the entire compound is covered in multiple fine layers of fresh powder! Unfortunately, Mr. Alberts sold our snowplow to fund our Best New Blog celebration, so we've had to cancel classes for the last few days. The inter-office paperwork is also piling up considering Bloo has been saucer sledding since Sunday. Hopefully, we can get some fresh posts down today as I attempt to defrost the place with Morton's salt.

It's just "Cirroc", your Honor... and, yes, I'm ready.

-irishoutsider

All Your Intention Belong to Trev

By Trev Alberts
formerly of ESPN.com

Let me just take this time in the post-apocalyptic day-after haze of Recruiting Day to remind everyone that it is not too late to send me your Letters of Intent. Become a Trevian today! I promise to provide plenty of opportunity for playing time and no cash compensation what so ever (Trev Fun Dollars are not considered legal tender and, therefore, are an eligible form of remuneration.-IO)

So email FireMarkMay.com your intent to join the loyal followers of the Trev, The Fighting Treviacs, The Legion of Trev-based Doom today! No Holds Barred, and we'll see if we can't find some space to post some interesting profiles of reader zeal. Illustrate your fealty in electronic mail form today!

*Send all submissions to the kid by clicking here*

Trev Alberts is FireMarkMay's official recruiting coordinator for life. He plans on running a 4-3 look with 3-4 personnel and an occasional smattering of "All Out Block" defense.

Oh Rexy, you're so sexy...

!@#$#-ing sex cannon...



Back to the collegiate football soon enough,

-irishoutsider